Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of emails and messages on social media from readers who have HAD IT. They’re sick of this year; sick of the bs from family members, friends, their partner, their ex, dating, social media, the news, themselves… everything. Many are convinced that they are the problem, while others just want to get away. “I don’t ever want to talk to my brother again!” “Maybe my friends really are better off without me.” “Can’t they just SHUT UP already?!” “What’s the use of even trying for anything/anyone anymore?” “How could he/she do this to me at a time like this?” And the list goes on. This is what emotional exhaustion looks like.
There have been times in my life where I knew that I wasn’t physically exhausted but I ended up sleeping for fourteen hours straight. How? Emotional exhaustion. I think that I am still behind the eight-ball in regard to people, circumstances, situations, and events that emotionally exhausted me in my childhood.
Emotional exhaustion is something that I believe builds up over time. It’s interesting because when I am physically exhausted and haven’t slept for days, I have no issue AT ALL explaining to anyone that I can’t do whatever they want/need me to do (because I physically can’t; it’s impossible) until I catch up on sleep. I would never drive a car if I hadn’t slept for three days straight. It would be totally irresponsible and dangerous. I would not only be putting my own life at risk, but I’d also be putting the lives of others at risk as well.
With emotional exhaustion, it’s a little different. Most of the time, we don’t realize (or want to take the time to unplug and acknowledge) just how emotionally tired we are until it’s too late. Reactivity feels like our only option because we are literally, running on fumes.
And so, the flood gates burst open in an irreparable way. We waste the rest of our lives blaming (and sabotaging) ourselves for not being able to put the proverbial toothpaste back in the tube.
Conversely, there have been times in my life where I was totally aware that I was emotionally tapped. But I stayed in denial because it was easier. I kept looking to external sources (the person I was dating, my family, my job, friends, the news/celebrity gossip, going out, having a little more to drink than usual, making online purchases… any kind of distraction) to fuel me. This created an unhealthy reliance on everyone and everything outside of myself.
I was so depleted from within, I had to constantly chase the high of escapism. Eventually, this began to distort my sense of reality. It gave birth to a victim mentality (which made me a sitting duck for toxic relationships) and resulted in panic attacks that lead to an emotional breakdown.
You may have experienced this before. Or, you may feel totally drained/overwhelmed right now and headed toward your breaking point.
Let’s address your emotional exhaustion right here, right now.
If you don’t, it is guaranteed that your body will eventually prove to you just how strong the stress-disease connection really is. (For more information on this, I highly recommend Dr. Gabor Mate’s book, When The Body Says “No”).
What is emotional exhaustion? And how do I know if I’m experiencing emotional fatigue?
Emotional exhaustion does not require physical exhaustion to exist, but if you are emotionally exhausted, you will always feel it physically.
When you’re emotionally burnt out, it feels like you’re on a hamster wheel and can’t catch your emotional breath.
Physical fatigue follows in many forms. Here are just a few physical symptoms that I have personally experienced as a result of not acknowledging/addressing my own emotional exhaustion:
- Reduced appetite
- Hairloss
- Endometriosis
- Trouble sleeping
- Blood sugar issues
- Dysmorphia (not with my body as much as my face. I suffered from facial dysmorphia for years) which lead to…
- Acne/skin picking
- Excema
- Candida overgrowth
- Leaky gut
Did emotional exhaustion alone cause every one of the above conditions? NO.
There were other contributing factors, of course. But I can assure you that the common denominator of them ALL was emotional exhaustion.
When you are emotionally exhausted, everything sets off your emotional triggers. It feels like you can’t escape others and, most frustratingly, yourself.
I always know I’m emotionally fatigued if I’m experiencing these symptoms…
Emotional exhaustion symptoms
- Internalizing the behavior of others. You are unable to let others own their own behavior.
- People-pleasing on overdrive.
- You feel a constant sense of doom. You’re also more negative/pessimistic and feel frustrated because everything agitates you.
- Anxiety attacks.
- Emotionally unavailable. You feel completely checked out and numb.
- You have a hard time saying “no” to people (including the cynical audience in your head).
- Socializing in any way feels like a chore. You feel anxious and dually, exhausted when you think of having to interact with certain people.
- You can’t remember the last time you were genuinely happy.
- Whether it’s a commercial on tv, a movie, or a book you’re reading, you cry very easily.
NEWSFLASH…
Social media, the news, certain ingredients in processed foods, and lastly, toxic people will test your resolve to stay on your white horse in every way possible.
Keep going.
Getting exhausted – whether it’s emotional or physical- is something that’s a normal part of life. It HAPPENS. But getting off your white horse is a choice.
You can either let yourself get completely drained (and allow that to be the lubricant for reactivity) so you have no other choice but to get off your white horse and insult your emotional intelligence OR you can do one of the most painful, lonely, and courageous things that one can do…
You can ACT on the realization that YOU and ONLY YOU can replenish your emotional energy.
Here’s how.
How to heal emotional and mental exhaustion
*I am not a doctor, nor am I licensed or certified in anything. Below are recommendations that worked for me. Always check with your doctor.
Here are just a few things that really helped/help when I feel emotional fatigue:
- I started being honest with myself and others. When I began to actually feel my feelings, I was able to kindly (not brutally) communicate them one time and then, act accordingly and without apology.
- I learned how to say “no.”
- I invested in a weighted blanket.
- I drank peppermint tea and also, a few drops of lemon balm extract in water every day until I felt like I could emotionally exhale.
- I invested in an eye mask and eventually, blackout curtains for better sleep when I could afford them.
- After every shower that I can, I take the time to really moisturize my body from head to toe. As I moisturize each limb, I thank my body for everything it does for me in spite of what I’ve done to it.
- I started minding my own business. Seriously. Instead of aimlessly (and obsessively/compulsively) searching on social media, I’ll get lost in a good book or I’ll get into a tv show or cook a nutritious meal and shut out the world. I’ll work on my business. The more plugged in I am to my own life, the easier it is to listen to my instinct and take care of my own emotional needs (before getting to the point of no return by catering to everyone else’s).
- I get out and walk in nature as much as possible. Sunlight (*natural* vitamin D), fresh air, and drinking water do WONDERS. I know, it sounds so obvious but it’s true.
- I realize that I don’t owe anyone anything. I owe my emotional body the same attention that I give my physical body because I know that without my mental health, my physical health will erode. Poor mental health also irritates and ages the skin.
- I invested in an acupressure mat.
- I got completely off my phone as much as possible.
Please, if you can’t do it for yourself yet, do this for me and for the people (living and deceased) who love and believe in you as much as I do.
Get off of social media.
Get out of your text messages.
Turn the news off for however long you can.
Unplug from all the noise and see how you feel when you’re not a hamster that’s become dependent on a wheel. Come here to this blog, connect with others, and just know that you WILL make it.
Look how far you’ve come already.
x Natasha
+ If you need further and more personalized help with your relationship, please look into working with me here.
There are no words to ever thank you enough for saving my life Natasha. You are doing God’s work. Please don’t ever stop ❤️
Hi Natasha,
I can’t thank you enough for your blog(s) They have literally stopped me from going completely mad in the last few weeks.
After being with (who I thought) was a lovely man for just over a year, I had the unfortunate experience of finding my him with another women.
What unfolded was distressing to say the least. He had been on Internet sites for a three months (so effectively cheating for three months)and met this women, who he had only seen a handful of times. I was rapidly finished with via text a few hours later and he ran after her like a school boy. And of course the standard social media photo snap appeared within a week. I’m sure there were other women now as I now realise how many red flags I ignored, but of course he won’t admit it, and she believes him.
Ironically this womans husband cheated on her ending her marriage but she was willing to take him on. He deceived her too and stated he was single and had been for nearly two years, so I was completely erased out of his mind. I’m just staggered that she can even entertain him given he deceived her too… I tried to warm her but ishe didn’t believe anything and he then started to discredit me by saying I had mental health issues.
This was a man who I thought I had a future with .His level of deception, humiliation, engineered lies and disingenuous behaviour and treatment that ive been on the receiving end of ive found very difficult to comprehend. He never made any effort to engage with me, try and explain and attempt to make anything right with me. I tried to pin him down and get some sort of explanation which only resulted in more questions, little sympathy and at times, almost laughing at me.
I felt like I had been dropped off a cliff.
Thankfully, I took onboard your level headed advice, and once I realised he seem to enjoy humiliating and discrediting me ive had no contact. I’ve erased every part of my social media so neither he or his new girlfriend can find anything on me. I’ve dissapeared completely.
I’ve realised that my now ex boyfriend has many, many issues. Compulsively lying, cheating, emotionally shutdown, and the desperate need not to be alone, (hense the tactic of telling this woman he loved her, literally minutes before he knew I was going to catch him out) Plus the added bonus of an alcohol addiction.
I know ive dodged a massive bullitt in the long run, and I’m so so glad I cut off all contact once I truly realised what he was like, and made sure he knew that I was not to blame for anything he did.
Thank you again Natasha
Hi Tracey
I did the exact same thing – tried to warn the other women but she would not hear any of it. I was horrified that she was ready to be with him after all the evidence against him. I thought I was doing the right thing but it back fired and they both made me the crazy one with mental issues. I have gone no contact since then and am getting better with time and Natasha’s amazing blog /advice /presence.
I completely understand where your coming from and how you feel. Don’t live in the past. Stay in the present. You are much much stronger then you realise. If I can get better, anyone can 🙂
Best wishes
Meg
Hi Meg,
Thank you for your reply. It really is heartwarming to realise I’m not alone.
Its is quite staggering how someone who you thought loved you can label you with mental health issues so quickly simply to save their own skin. This last few weeks has been a very big learning curve indeed.
Having no contact has definitely been the best move, and eventhough its still difficult at times its getting better slowly but surely…
Thank you for connecting..
Tracey
I love seeing this love and support <3
Hello,
Have never blogged before, but going through a tough time. Have lived with a wonderful man for 5 years, unfortunately we have been in a cycle of forward-back, forward-back. I have now learnt that my attachment style is more anxious when stressed and my partner avoidant leaving us both exhausted from trying to be there for each other. It has reached a point of me saying I want out, and then asking if we could do couples counselling together. Initially he said yes to couples counselling and then a few days later said he is ‘done’.
The past week we have been civil to each other making cups of tea and kind gestures and probably are now at our most vulnerable place. We are sleeping in separate rooms, my heart is breaking and now feeling emotionally drained and scared.
As the home belongs to my partner’s workplace I have to move out. Still feeling numb I have checked in to ask if he is really sure that this is what he wants and he has said yes and willingly will help me to find a new rental. Only two weeks ago we were telling each other how lucky we are to have each other and very much in love.
To add more emotional stress the past five weeks I have been supporting my partner through the death of his lovely, gorgeous mum. It has been a really tough time, and the saddest thing is that I don’t want to leave. My partner knows this, we have been so respectful of each other, and are getting on better than ever, except for the fact he is sure he wants me to move on. I need some words of strength, understanding and love.
With love and peace Helen
Hi Helen,
Thank you for taking the time to share <3 and thank you for being a part of this tribe. You are not alone. I would need to know more details and it is impossible for me to advise here on the comments (thank you for your kindness and your understanding). Please have your own back, listen to the oldest part of your soul, your instinct, and just know that you will get through this extremely difficult season of life. My heart goes out to you. Recognize selfishness if you feel you are in the presence of it and always, be kind to YOU. You've got this, sister. xx
You make me want to be a better daughter, sister, friend, and person Meg. Thank you for being here.
We love you. Can’t wait to meet. I know it will happen <3
Love and appreciate you, soul sister. xx
Tracey,
I can’t thank YOU enough for your love and support. Your connection to me and my work affirms that I was/am never in emotions, situations, relationships, and feelings that I was *so convinced* I was alone in.
I could not have coached/advised you to handle this any better than you have. What an inspiration you are Tracey. Thank you for having the courage to share and in the process of doing so, helping others who feel alone and are reluctant to comment. I love and appreciate you.
You dodged a nuclear BOMB. I know how hard and painful this is. Please know that you are not alone and that you are doing something he never thought you had it in you to do. Doesn’t it feel FANTASTIC to know that, no matter what, you UNCONDITIONALLY have your own back?
You got this, sister! Love you and hope that this finds you and your loved ones healthy and safe. xx
Natasha,
Thank you for your lovely reply. You are right its is hard and at times very painful, but I know that will ease.
Even though i will never forget how dreadfully he has treated me, your blogs have made such a difference in my understanding as to why he acted the way he did.
Having read your blog on narcissism and confirming from further reading on alcohol disorders he was/is a functional alcoholic aswell. His traits encompassing both disorders could be talking about him as a study subject!
Now I can see quite clearly who he is, the man my pain still hangs onto was never really there. It was a very good acting performance, and when the pressure was on he revealed his true self.
So, this is how I am trying to move forward and so thankful that I really did dodge a nuclear bomb Natasha.
You have a great community of support and understanding, thank you
Tracey
“The man my pain still hangs onto was never really there.” LOVE THIS and YOU my friend.
Thank you for being here and for being you. xx
Hi Natasha, I can’t believe where I am today in 2023. You helped me get through a toxic 20 year relationship and I didn’t know it was possible. Today I am back. I took a break from dating and after finding my happiness, I found another emotional unavailable man. I will say this is by far a much worse feeling due to the fake future, small kids, and allowing myself to be 100% vulnerable. I believed he was, yet he wasn’t that person after some time.
I don’t know if any of the tribe has gone through this level of gaslighting, but being created on online through IG, messaging, and video games is painful. I still question what I know to be real. When a man wants to tell you what you saw and heard, it truly ruins you. At one point I believed everything he said. Now I am struggling to get through each moment. Suicide plagued me. Your blog is the ONLY space that brings temporary peace. So, thank you. I am making the effort to do better for my younger self and so that my future isn’t my present.
You are not alone, Myschelle. I am so happy and honored to have helped in any way. Please reach visit my coaching page if you’d like to further/more personalized help and support.
You are seen, loved, understood, backed, believed in, and surrounded in love by this community. Xx
Hi Tracey.
I just wanted to say that you actually are better for not being involved with this person anymore. That person truly was not serious about you nor serious about himself. You know that before you can be in any meaningful relationship you must address the one with yourself first. He is not doing that. He seems to be doing everything but that.
I know that it is painful because I have been there many times but you will continue to grow and find happiness in the future.
I wish you all the best and stay here on the blog for wisdom and support.
Good luck.
Hi Linda,
Thank you so much for your advice and support. It can take quite a while to be able to see what is actually standing in front of us with these types of men. And even though it was a negative experience, with Natashas blogs I’ve been able to understand the rational behind the emotional fog.
I am so thankful for all your support and kind words, it has really helped me so much.
Best wishes
Tracey
I love and appreciate seeing this love/support! XO
Thank you again Natasha. Your posts are always the most emotional caring, empathetic and informative. THANK YOU! I have learned so much from you the past two years while following you <3
This year I got into anxiety therapy and was at the same time given the complete psychological assessment to clarify if there were any other illnesses (aka diagnoses) present.
After some consultations I finally found the missing piece for what I have been fighting with my whole life: I have a borderline personality. Borderline is emotional exhaustion on speed.
I know now why I have been so challenged throughout my life in various relationships. But I have also found various ways of healing while I wait for targeted therapy:
– I have read up upon my condition. I have learned that it's fixable with time and therapy. At least that's something, huh? 😉
– My BF is the best, most caring guy: he bought a self help book for those in relationship with borderliners. The techniques applied has helped us go from everyday crisis to next to none in 2 months (yes, it's true). It's quite literally been a revolutionary experience.
– I got on anti depressants (low dose) – clinical research shows this actually can help those with borderline diagnosis and it has – it takes the emotional storms down a good notch. But this was not a guarantee – and I am not a doctor, so check up with yours first!
– I am only now – after a year of being completely drained emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted starting to sleep 7-8 hours at night (unless I have an anxiety attack).
This post just underscored what I went through the past year. It has been crazy, and not because of COVID. Just because having borderline is like being emotionally exhausted on a daily basis your whole life. It's a relational trauma-disease 24/7. Your feelings are like an exposed tooth nerve. Every impact is in the red zone on the barometer.
You become a magnet for toxic relationships, codependent behaviour, abandonment scars and other people's judgement. My own mother and her side of the family has disowned me. I still get the proverbial birthday card through. This year I didn't answer her. I told her last year it wasn't working for me. Boundaries, baby – and felt so great setting them for the first time by just not reacting to the BS.
I only started setting boundaries when I ran into your blog, Natasha. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart <3
Anette, I am in tears. There is nothing I could ever write back that would even come close to adequately expressing my love and appreciation.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to share. Thank you for being with me for all these years.
I too am not a doctor of any kind, but I find that BPD is most often portrayed in a light that is nowhere NEAR as compassionate and inclusive as you have presented it. Thank you for sharing your journey and for giving me hope in ways you could never believe that you have. Truly.
I love you. And just like your pain is mine, so is your happiness and success. I’m so happy that you’ve found a man as incredible as you. One day, I hope we can meet in person. Until then, all my love to you.
I hope that this finds you and your loved ones healthy and safe. Thank you for being my family. xx
I am so happy to hear this, and if my comment has helped just ONE reader of this post, or on this blog, I am glad! Because I too thought myself very stigmatized after receiving the BPD diagnosis. I am only now beginning to open up to people about it and most people responds empathetically. We are often our own worst judges, right? 😉
I am now being referred into targeted BPD therapy (DBT – dialectical behaviour therapy) and I am SO relieved! And so grateful someone finally saw what was wrong with me. I would recommend two books on the subject for further reading:
“I hate you, don’t leave me” by Jerold J Kreisman and “Loving someone with Borderline personality disorder” by Shari Y. Manning. These two books have made the world of a difference in my life!
But it all started here to be honest. I recovered so much better and quicker after a nasty breakup because I ran into your blog almost two years ago. I am very grateful for your work and insights. They hit a spot and I started working on myself with therapy. I owe your wise personality a lot ❤️??
THANK YOU my dear soul sister <3
I love, appreciate, and value you. Thank you for the book recommendations; thank you for being so open and compassionate.
Wishing you and yours a wonderful week. xox
Hello my sister!
Thank you so much for this. This is exactly where I am! I realized it a while ago. Natasha you have described perfectly. I feel like I am in a hamster wheel everyday. I keep asking myself when it will change. I want to believe that there is more to life but honestly it seems hard to do right now. I can say it is due to the state of the world but I’m not sure that is it.
I will say that I have done some of the self care that you recommended. I just concluded that being thankful and grateful is better than staying in a state of exhaustion. Boundaries as you have mentioned in the past are also helpful.
Natasha you always seem to know how to help at the exact time. Thank you my sister.
I love you and all you do.
????
My dear Sister Linda,
I MISS YOU and am so grateful for you, your friendship, and every one of your responses to my posts (along with YOUR incredible post on ghosting).
Gratitude really is the key. I have found that healthy boundaries facilitate my ability to find gratitude in the most hopeless times. Thank you for shedding light on this my dear friend.
I feel you; I think we all can definitely relate. But isn’t it nice to know that we have each other? Sending all my love to you and your Mother. YOu are never alone. Love you. xo
What a Happy Thanksgiving Post!?!
I attest to many of your agendas-dilemmas base on my experiences. Also “How to heal blahs” agendas-dilemmas that part is a long road for me because of habitual and took as granted (to avoid toxic in kitchen with ex and let her have the helm in kitchen) for a long time. Hate kitchen mess to deal with. Eating plaques healthy and unhealthy foods from time to time. Until…… My mother’s recent health ailments that I’m “caretaking” her which might be a “changing or turnaround” of bad habit toward old habit I had before with ex. Early to rule out. Time will tell the outcome. Funny thing lot of people been telling me “No way I’m in 50’s and I look like 35 40’s”. Really!?! I pondering how can that be happening to me especially tonnes of stress I went thru for long time. I don’t know if I’m a sucker wasting money in Alkaline water? Some supplements I taken (Not religiously everyday) as I feel the need. I do have tummy issues. Highly likely leaking guts but I’ll worry that later. It’s hard to have my own diet that I rather do everything to make my mother happy eat whatever she want meanwhile at that I’m gradually learning how to fix it. Example I used to eat melons (watermelon or cantaloupe or relate in) never have any problem until few year ago it doesn’t agree my stomach. Same as B-Complete supplement! Disappointed!!! Discussed to nutritionist expert. She think I may have leaking gut issue. Most importantly part I still enjoy berries with no issue. When I was heartbroken I walk 10 to 15 miles daily for months till I drop dead. Now I maintain 3 ish miles a day. I hope I don’t have feet issue at latter time from overwalk-dose. Had many blisters on feet had to pop out and peeled out. Sanded rough skin off feet. No matter what kind shoes or socks (top brand to low brand) you wear. It doesn’t protect feet from over walk. Try to limit range and intervals while your heartbroken or extreme stress to minimize consequences on your feet. Yes it’s hard when feel so angry, heartbroken, numb, anxiety, sleepless, and other relate ailments associate to it that one try to vent out.
Great post that we ought be THANKFUL from Natasha and troops. Happy Thanksgiving! Y’all.
John.
Hi John!
I love, appreciate, and look forward to each and every one of your comments. Thank you, as always, for taking the time to share. I had that same issue with B-Complex!!
I am thinking of you and sending you, your Mother, daughters, and family my love. You make me want to be a better person and we all support, appreciate, and love you, John.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, my dear friend. So thankful for you!
Hello! I want to share my current situation here.
I’m going through a process of grieve for a recent break-up from a relationship where I had to “work” very hard emotionally, since I was giving probably the 100% of the emotional part in it…
I’m a freelancer, which means that I work from home, but it’s not as cool as it sounds. Since I don’t have a “regular” schedule, I end up accepting every project I’m offered and working literally every hour of my day (when I’m not sleeping at night).
I wanted to make this process of grieving easier for myself, so I thought that working a lot an keeping distracted would help me moving on faster (and stop the obsession with my ex).
What I have realized is that every day since the breakup two months ago, I’ve been deteriorating my body and my emotional and mental health with non stop working+obsessing+working out -I thought also that hard work out every day would make me stronger-.
It actually didn’t make me stronger because I haven’t been listening to my body. It was telling me all the time that it needed rest, but I was not giving it.
The other day I took a blood test at the hospital, and the results have shown the evidence: I have literally almost no iron and iron proteins in my blood. I practically don’t have reserves left. My face is a mess and my bags under my eyes have never been darker. I’ve been exploiting my body when it was telling me that I had to stop, that I had to treat it with respect, that it needed more rest.
This article shows my current situation: I’m EXHAUSTED. I just can’t deal with it anymore, I have to stop, disconnect and take care of myself.
Thank you Natasha for lighting up my journey through life 🙂 And to all, please… Treat yourselves with respect, as I’m trying to do now… It feels so good and right.
xx
Alicia,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to share and for being a part of this tribe ♥️ I’m so happy that the post was helpful. You are doing the right thing and are not alone. All my love to you, soul sister. Xox
Hello Natasha! I’m such a big fan of your blog. Thanks so much for all this emotional wisdom that you share with us.
I wanted to suggest you a possible topic for an article; not because your blog isn’t complete, but because I need so much some guidelines for this I’m about to tell, and it can be sort of related to the topic of self-improvement.
In my case, it is so difficult to stay physically alone, meaning It’s very hard for me to focus on something and stay motivated.
When I’m at my place, it feels like the walls eat me out. I’m studying for some very important exams right now, but it’s almost impossible for me to stay focus and I relate this to my inability to function by myself. I jump from FB to Instagram, and then to the fridge to find something to eat. I literally feel anxiety.
– Also mention that I recently came out from a break-up, but my life has practically always revolved around relationships, break-ups and emotionally unavailable guys due to my emotional dependence. I’m working on that right now and spending time alone where to figure out how to be happy on my own-.
Anyway, this (being incapable of focusing) has been a constant through all my life. I can’t believe I got to the point of getting a degree and a master’s; I guess that the proximity of deadlines and finals have been the pressure I needed, but still… I can’t enjoy anything I do if I just can’t be more than 5 minutes doing it, it doesn’t matter if it’s something I like or I don’t like.
I don’t know if you have written already about this, but your advice is always so good, as the one you give in this same article. I want to be happy with what I do, because what I do is beautiful. I just feel I don’t have the willpower and motivation to enjoy it and feel like I deserve it.
Thanks so much Natasha xxx
Alex,
I feel like I’m reading about myself LOL. What a great topic recommendation. I can definitely relate and I am sure that many others can too.
Good luck with studying! I hope that this finds you and your loved ones healthy and safe.
Thank you for being you and thank you for being a part of this tribe. All my love and gratitude to you. xx
Thank you Natasha, truly. I am going through a very difficult moment in my life and nothing seems to help BUT your words. You simply get it. After just another day I can’t seem to be able to focus and too many naps (for me the problem isn’t lack of sleep, but too much sleep right now, as a way to escape from myself I guess), I was wondering what’s wrong with me, and googled ’emotional exhaustion’ and found this: there is not a single word in what you wrote that doesn’t resonate with how I’m feeling. I cry very easily. I feel completely checked out and numb, probably for the first time in my life. I have always been very open. Now for the first time I am experiencing what being emotionally unavailable actually means. One dating experience completely disappointed me a few months ago and after other several disappointments I am now just feeling drained. No more energy at all. The guy was flaky and inconsistent – emotionally unavailable. After that horrible experience (tried hard to make sense of it, but failed) I realized that the actual problem is my sense of being unworthy. Now I am seemingly not able to date anyone. I’ve just rejected a perfect guy. So this time I AM the emotionally unavailable one. The reason is that I am really really exhausted. I have read tons of things about self-care and self-love but it’s really hard for me to understand how to love myself for real. My deep rooted sense of worthlessness is creeping up. I can’t handle this. But when you said JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS I could clearly visualize it. I would like to say more but I’ve already written a lot. I just wanted to make sure you know that the way you talk about these things isn’t comparable to anything else you find on the internet. Psychology stuff also feels too theoretical and distant. Other coaches are not particularly deep. You are the best and truly inspire me to learn to love myself and to accept the loneliness without seeking external validation. I will let other people own their behavior – but I am definitely going to start to own my own. I’ll shut out the world starting from today and whenever I’m tempted to fall in the external trap I’ll check out your site. I am looking forward to reading your book.
Desy,
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to share ♥️ I am so happy and honored to have helped in any way; it’s what I live for. I live to give everything that I wish I would have had.
You are not alone ♥️ Your level of wisdom, self-awareness, and hunger for more, for better, is/will continue to set you free.
What a beautiful person you are. Thank you for being my family on a soul level.
Thank you for being a part of this tribe.
Thank you for existing.
All my love to you. xox
Natasha, you are an angel. I totally relate with your life stories. You are doing a great work with your Blog. I feel happy about the fact that, this kind of content is reaching people, empowering & supporting them.
You are really sweet. All the best!
And, Thank you!
It takes one to know one, Ramya. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I just want to give everything that I wish I had.
Thank YOU – for being a part of this tribe, for taking the time to share, and for surviving.
All my love to you. Xo