Do you know when Natasha writes about riding on your white horse? Well, there’s a part of you that aligns with this from the moment you are born. It is part of what makes up your emotional intelligence.
It’s your inner GPS. Your emotional GPS.
We all have one. Sadly, I think we are forgetting how to follow it. Call it intuition, gut feeling, a sixth sense, they all mean the same thing. I am hoping these words will help you recalibrate your own GPS. This is your emotional compass that exists to help guide you and increase your emotional intelligence.
It begins with trust. You need to trust yourself before anything else in life. Imagine you are a plant. You need to shoot down your roots to further your growth. Plants don’t think about it, they just KNOW to do that. Survival instincts are powerful. We all need to TRUST ourselves. You need to practice tuning in, so your instincts become razor-sharp.
Your inner GPS guides you every day. But you may be getting out there on the daily without tuning into it. However, it can be hard to connect to this inner knowing when you are swimming in a deep sea of pain. Your focus is lost, and your feelings are so intense, you may feel you are drowning in them. Keep the faith though. There are pluses to everything in life, even when you are in desperate and deep pain. I think when we are at our lowest we are at our strongest. Yes, I did just write that.
And here is why…
When you are broken inside, when you have been f*cked over, when you cannot get out of bed, when taking a shower is too hard, when you are unable to eat, you’re in such a powerful place. Yes, it’s painful too, unspeakably so, but know this: When you see all your brokenness, you have to pick yourself up. Piece by piece. You must love yourself and connect with your sense of self-worth again. You will learn what broke you. A lesson exists for you. This is what emotional intelligence is all about. Your emotional GPS will reflect back to you what you need to work on for self-growth. It is an incredibly powerful place to be. Raw but pure. It’s a gift.
Remember this: Anyone who brings you deep, soul-wrenching pain, is not meant to be in your life. Take the lesson and exit.
Sometimes we head in directions ready to enjoy the adventure ahead. Sometimes it’s not right for us and the people involved are not who they at first seem. You’ll know this as your emotional GPS will signal it to you. If you are headed in the wrong direction, it will try and redirect you. Tune in to the messages that you are getting.
Is it a sense of being let down, lied to, or just feeling constantly like things are not adding up?
These messages are not your imagination, they are instincts allowing you to feel what is happening (things you may not yet be able to see).
Your emotional GPS will “hashtag” the words and lines you are hearing that are not true. They will keep popping up in your mind.
Take heed! I can think of many times I got a direct hit message off my emotional GPS. It comes at you, a thought, a random word, a question mark about something you just saw or heard. It’s a simple piece of information when it comes to you. It will make you stop and think. These little nuggets of information are raw. They are like intuitive raindrops. You feel it, look up and wonder “hmmm rain?” Take heed of that tiny drop, because it alerted you to the potential storm that may be ahead.
Regardless of the situation, your GPS will be rerouting you constantly if things are not good for you. This is what emotional intelligence is all about. Red flags will be flying. Flapping even. Neon lights will flash. Next time you see one of those, know that your emotional GPS is talking to you. Trust it. Listen to it. It’s like your heartbeat – 24/7. That’s the simplicity of it. It’s part of you.
There is so much unending power in following your intuition. When your heart is broken, your GPS isn’t. When life has shattered in front of you, your GPS is still in one piece. When you feel you have lost your way, your GPS knows you haven’t. In your very darkest moments, find solace and peace in that aloneness. TRUST yourself! No one can take your emotional intelligence from you. Love yourself enough to realize those raw little gut instincts are there for you. The overriding message your emotional GPS always wants you to receive is “You are worthy and lovable.”
When you feel negative and unloving energy, get out of there! You cannot thrive with this. Stop listening to others, stop believing things you want to believe and let it go. If things are getting hard and going nowhere, there is a message in that. Reroute.
It is one thing to show commitment to a situation and loved ones who appreciate and deserve you, but another thing to keep trying in situations that are destructive for you. Your emotional intelligence is inside your GPS. It sorts the wheat from the chaff. It helps teach and guide you as you go through your life, experiencing things and learning from them.
It all boils down to emotional intelligence. This is the control center of your GPS.
Here are the core messages that your emotional GPS wants you to receive:
- You are lovable.
- Love yourself first.
- You are worthy.
- You deserve to feel good.
- You CAN start over! (reroute!)
- You are enough.
- Don’t be afraid to be you.
- Don’t be afraid to speak up even if you find that hard. Use your voice.
- You have things to offer others and the world. Don’t ever sell yourself short.
- Have self-respect always – then disrespect from others will always be minimized/not happen
- Your patterns (that are comprised of your actions) always speak louder than words. Same for others. Stop listening and start looking
- Move on if you aren’t feeling loved or cared for. (reroute!)
Whenever you are at your most broken, your emotional GPS is communicating to you at its strongest.
Those overwhelming feelings you have inside? It’s your GPS redelivering all the information it’s been red-flagging you with – the information you ignored/justified/watered down/excused/disregarded/gave 25 extra chances to, etc.
When in doubt about situations: get off, get out, cut off, move on. If you keep going, you will hit the proverbial brick wall.
Brick walls are not a sign to get out a jackhammer and pound away. A brick wall is NOT a destination. It means STOP. There is NOTHING here for you. When you find yourself standing in front of a brick wall, reroute. There were a lot of red flags you bypassed before you arrived. This is a sign you are in the wrong neighborhood. Don’t be looking at buying real estate here. Brick walls are sheer agony when you hit them. Next time, pay attention to those red flags first. Also know that despite anything you go through in life, you are never permanently lost or broken. Remember this: The lowest ebb is always the turn of the tide. Always. You can only go back up from here.
There will always be selfish people out there who want to put you down, use you, manipulate you, take from you, lie, treat you badly. There will always be people who just seem to want to crush you a little, devalue you and rain on your parade. Those bad vibes you are feeling? Yep! Your emotional intelligence and GPS is connecting to you.
These are not your people. They are not your tribe. They aren’t anything, except blips on your radar that remind you of the importance of feeling good. A reminder that those people, those roads, those choices (if you make them) are not going to serve you well. Ironically, it can hurt a great deal to change course when you have invested yourself and your heart into someone or something. Remind yourself WHY you are walking away. Know that the pain you feel doing that pales in comparison to the pain you would have felt if you continued. Trust your emotional GPS. It knows.
Put up with enough of other people’s crap, and you will begin to disengage with yourself, your gut, your inner knowing. At a soul level, this is devastating if you allow it to continue. This disconnection happens because the trust you have in yourself begins to erode. You begin to absorb the negativity of others, and doubt yourself. Question your perspectives and beliefs. The truth will seem distorted and you will be lost in confusion, pain, loneliness. And in your darkest moment, you’ll question your worthiness.
When you are broken inside and feeling like you are worthless, that is your emotional GPS signaling to you GO BACK – WRONG WAY. No one deserves to feel broken, and if it is directly linked to how someone is treating you, it is definitely time to change lanes – not stay in the same one at the expense of your emotional intelligence.
We live in a world that can be beautiful and full of love, but there are times it is not. Love yourself enough to know that although there will be storms in life to weather, you should at no point feel worthless or unlovable. Feeling that way means you are in the wrong place with the wrong people. Reroute immediately.
Be your own “Phoenix rising.” Write a new chapter with new people in it. Stop looking for validation from people who don’t appreciate you and appreciate yourself instead. Reroute. It’s far better to be on a long journey alone for a while, than traveling with people who don’t help you get to your destination or contribute to the journey in positive ways. Look at the situation for what it “is” not what you want it to be.
Go back to basics, don’t complicate your life by overthinking. When your head is spinning and your stomach is churning you need to reroute. All that emotion has peaked for a reason. Get on your white horse, you’ll be safe there. Stop tuning into the crap others are telling you and tune into your emotional GPS; your emotional intelligence. It’s an innate whisper and it comes from the deepest part of you. It will only give you wisdom. No fake promises and broken truths. There is nothing to be afraid of or doubt about your inner voice. It is pure, raw knowingness. Short, simple messages of immense value.
Because it comes from your soul, it always wants the best for you. Fill your life journey with people and places who love and support you. Get enough of those in your life and you will learn the difference between what actually *is* and what just seems to be.
That’s also why we ride white horses. When you are on your white horse, you can gently move forward. If you fall off by chance, it will wait for you to get back on. Just like your emotional intelligence and GPS. No matter how many wrong turns, dead ends, or brick walls you encounter, it will continue to stay with you. Because it resides within you. Your deepest, soul whisper.
Finally, understand this: You are never really traveling alone.
You are always loved. You are wiser than you think you are. And when your happiness has gone missing and you’re shrouded in doubt, it is simple. Trust yourself. Reroute.
This post was written by Natasha Adamo Team Member, Lorelle.
+ If you need further and more personalized help, please look into working with Natasha here.
I like this and cant wait for my favorite person’s post, your mom!!!!
Thank you, Paola, I’m glad you liked it, and yesssssssss, I’m really looking forward to what Natasha’s Mom will write as well! We will all gain so much from it. Xx
Me too! 🙂 XOXO
Oh Lorelle, your light and wisdom is something that only keeps on giving. Like Natasha said I’ve also come back many times to read the comments you have written to me and other people in the tribe, and you have definitely helped me heal in my darkest moments. I’m so grateful for connecting with you Lorelle!
This post made me cry, it was exactly what I needed to read right now. Thank you so much Lorelle, love you! ????
Oh Mishaell, I’m so humbled by your words. I’m so happy that this little post helped you as that is all I wanted to do. Just know, that you are following your heart now, and when we do that, a lot of the angst and drama falls away. We often try very hard ( too hard even!) but in the wrong place or with the wrong people. Just tap into YOU – you’ll discover so much and I’m really so happy this meant something to you. You’re going to bloom this year, lovely! Lots of love to you, Mishaell. ???? Xx hugs ?
I needed this, it’s so refreshing to read, I felt so much love from this post, you guys are amazing people I’m so glad I found this site, I don’t feel so alone anymore. Thank you so much??
Hi Dee, I have to go to work this morning and I’m trying to reply to everyone before I do. I’m up to you, and I’m so teary, but happy inside. That you can say, you felt love in this just melts me. I’m so grateful that Natasha asked me to do this, and now I’m so grateful for the positivity that is spinning out of this whole transaction. Thank you for reading it and I’m so happy you don’t feel so alone. I have been there too. There’s a lot of love here for you, Dee. Keep coming to PMS! Xx ??
Just what I needed . Thank you for this.
Hi Paula! That’s perfect! I’m really so glowy inside reading that. Bless! Happiness to you xx ?
Hi Natasha and Lorelle,
Firstly just want to thank Natasha for all her wonderful posts. The have helped me so much in my healing process. I am still on that journey,on and off the white horse, at times so weary and weak .Your posts have helped me back up.
I have wanted to comment many times but have hesitated because I have to stay anonymous, for reasons I can’t go into. I looked at so many sites but am just so thankful that eventually I came across yours. I am not in a position to get counseling so have had to do whatever I can to help myself.
It’s hard for me to even pinpoint what has helped me where but I just know that I am in a much better place than I was before I started reading ( and acting upon) your posts. I was in that ‘before’ place for a long time.
I have also always read the comments section as I have found wisdom and been able to connect there as well. I am so glad that Lorelle will now be doing guest posts. Her words of wisdom,encouragement and advice have contributed to my progress.
Such a wonderful first post!
Definitely what I need to hear today,I hit a brick wall and although I saw the red flags,I didn’t listen to my GPS.
I know I am going to be reading this post again and again,taking it all in and trying to put it into action.
Thanks so much Lorelle. Thanks for taking the time and putting so much into it.
Thank you Natasha for always thinking about what’s best for us. I don’t know you and I live on the other end of the world but you have helped me more than you will ever know.
Much love to you both xxx
Hi Ann, ohhhh I am so proud of you for commenting since you don’t do this normally. Yes, I agree with everything you said about Natasha’s posts. It’s very easy to come here and get your dose of wisdom and feel more empowered. Keep reading, and you will find your white horse so much easier to stay on. I have been there too.
About your brick wall – it’s ok as now you’re reflecting on it. That’s the most powerful place to be. That’s where you move forward – and gain wisdom.
I’m so touched you took the time to write and so humbled this helped you too. I’m hoping you occasionally write a comment in the future so we know how you are going. There’s a lot of love here for you, Ann. Thank you so much for being brave today. Big hugs and lots of love to you xxx ???????
Hi Ann! Thank you for taking the time to comment. Your love and support mean everything to me.
It is, was, and will always be my pleasure. I am so honored to have played a part in your healing and realizations.
You are loved, understood, supported, and never alone.
Thanks for being a part of this tribe 🙂 xx
Wow ! I was only half looking initially as I was just getting ready for the gym as the email beeped. However, this post stopped me stone cold in my tracks and I was fully engaged ! Thank you Lorelle and Natasha – powerful xxx
Hi Jules! Ok – I think I should get to the gym after work today! Thanks for the inspiration there! And I’m so glad this meant something to you – that’s all I wanted. I’m just blown away by the comments here. This is going to be a very rosy day at work! Thank you for your words – they mean a lot . Xx ?
Happy it helped! Lorelle is incredible 🙂 xx
I feel like there were so many times throughout that post where a quote or two just hit me….. like a brick falling from the sky. So much clarity with such simple truths!
Thank you so much Hailey! I’m really overwhelmed with all of the comments – and just so full of happiness that some of those things I wrote had impact. I just want poeople to feel good and flourish. Thanks so much for your feedback – means so much xx ??
Same! I also had to stop and read 🙂
Wow. Just wow. Beautiful post, beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing your gift with us, Lorelle. I remember the first time I ever came across one of your comments. I was so struck by it’s energy – your clarity, your empathy, your kindness, and your wisdom. Such inspiring and empowering messages here!
Thankful for you ???
And thankful as always for Natasha for creating such a safe, comforting, and encouraging space for all of us to connect ??
Hi Amy! Yes, it’s so true about us having a safe space to connect here. Well said, and so important. Natasha has given us all that.
And thank you also sooooo much for your words. I feel so grateful, so loved and so glows inside right now. I did write that post from my heart and I learned it all the hard way. So I’m so grateful I could share it here and pass those things I learned on – I really hope it helps!
Thanks so much for your beautiful encouraging words. They are full of kindness and there’s not enough of that in the world today. Thank you, sweet Amy. Love to you xx hugs xx ?????
Thank you for your kind words too! I’ve found myself coming back to reread this post tonight (as I’ve done countless times before on PMS). I think the true mark of powerful writing comes with the new insight you gain despite rereading the same words, and your post does just that. I love what you say about picking ourselves up piece by piece being gift. It’s so true – and so hard to see when the pain comes crashing down. What I’ve realized more and more lately is that anything that rips you open or shatters you apart is what ultimately lets your inner light out and allows you to illuminate it, because it shows you the exact things you need to pay attention to.
It also reminded me of a beautiful quote I read: “You will not recognize me. This time, I put my pieces back differently.”
And that really seems to be gift of all heartbreak – that we can put ourselves back together in a new way – one that our “former” selves wouldn’t even recognize, that represents the truth of who we are, that reflects our resilience, that uncovers our love and light to the world.
Bravo, once again Lorelle! Much ?? xx ???
LOVE that quote! xx
So happy that you enjoyed it as much as I did. Love you sister. Thank you for existing 🙂 xo
Oh my! I haven’t commented in awhile and this just brought me to tears because it is so true, an amazing reminder and beautifully written. It kind of reminded me of a Jeep commercial I love where the gps keeps “recalculating.” Thank you lovely ladies!
Bella! Oh I love your comment about the Jeep commercial, I haven’t seen it but it does fit the message! ?
Thank you so much for your beautiful words. I’m so glad it connected to you xxx I’m so grateful too to have been able to share my thoughts here at PMS, Natasha is the queen of communication so I’m blessed ! Xxx ??
Hi! There’s a couple versions but if you’d like to see, below is one that’s on YouTube. Thanks again to the both of you for the support and encouragement. Have a wonderful week!
Ohhh! We don’t have that ad here in Australia! You’re so right, Bella, it really DOES fit the post hehe.
Recalculating. Love it. Especially when the bear comes along lol. We don’t get bears over here either….. thanks for the link. Xxx ???
Hi Bella! It’s so good to hear from you 🙂 I agree – this post is amazing. I need to see that commercial! xx
Truly inspiring Lorelle. So powerful and so true. I think it was brilliant of Natasha to have a member post here on the blog. I know how hard it is for most if not all of us to be so lost and then trying to find your way again and navigate towards to the light. Red flags, brick walls, detours, I have been thru all of this. I wouldn’t say i have truly healed, but I am on the right road to recovery. Alot of self reflection…tears..anger ..frustration.. shame… sadness and every emotion you could have i have felt throughout these last few months.
I am so thankful for you and Natasha and everyone who is a part of this tribe who have shared their own story and have opened up their hearts and souls to all of us. The love and understanding and true empathy I have felt here is what has kept me going. I think you are a beautiful person Lorelle and your words are always encouraging amd it comes from such a deep place within and i appreciate that more than you can imagine.
My hope and prayer is that me, you and Natasha do get to have that dinner together that we have talked about. I so wish i could hug you right now. You are pure light and love my dear sister.
Blessings…love and light to you and Natasha.
Vicki! So good to see you here again, lovely! Thank you so very much for your kind and encouraging words. I’ve read what you said about a lot of self reflection over the past months. One word Really stood out – shame. It’s the most awful way to ever feel about who you are. It really is a complete soul sucking emotion. When you feel like that, it’s time to forgive yourself and know you did your best with what you had at the time.
People can make us feel that way too when they judge us. Like we don’t measure up and we are full of lack. We aren’t. We just need to stay true to ourselves. So I’m so proud of you for working through so much emotional stuff, you are healing at the speed of light!
And you’re right – Natasha I’d completely full of love and light. And she’s the reason I could write this little post too.
This is going to be YOUR year, Vicki! So much ahead for you. Thanks for your beautiful comment and sending sunshine, love and hugs to you xxx ??????
I love the way you came up with ‘whitehorsewarriors, too: stay on your white horse, lovely! ???
Thank you Lorelle. Your kindness, love and support means the world to me. I don’t know what I would do without this beautiful tribe here. I am so happy to see everyone responding to your post as they have. Your words truly touched all of us and I am so grateful to you and Natasha for doing this.
Much love and respect to you my dear Lorelle.
Love you Vicki 🙂 I’m glad that you enjoyed this post as much as I did.
And YES – I cannot wait for that dinner. #whitehorsewarriors XO
So many jewels in one article – a total treasure chest. So many times I have ignored my intuition, chalking it up to paranoia. But it is so true, we all have this gift. And even when we continue to ignore it, a higher being takes over. A while back, i was contemplating going back into what I knew deep down was a toxic relationship. Out of the blue, I was contacted by someone I had not spoken with in over 20 yrs. He knew nothing of this yet He was so complimentary of me and confident that I would find a good, loving man. He even sent me a link to a song by the Blues Travelers called “just wait.” Could the signs have been any clearer? NO!!! But I went back out of loneliness and, of course, it was just as bad as the first time. Your writing gives me confidence to trust my gut. Thank you!
Hi Stacy, I really loved reading your story – there are definitely no coincidences in life! There is always a reason things happen. I think your story is beautiful because it illustrates how when you were at a cross road, you could find clarity when you were actually unsure. Yep! You were totally tuned in at the right time! Best thing is, you intrinsically understood it xx
I love it when this happens ??. Thanks for your words, and yes, keep trusting yourself! Xx
Agreed! Such an amazing post. 🙂 XOXO
Wow this post is exactly what I needed right now. Thank you Lorelle, and thank you Natasha for giving Lorelle the chance to speak on your post. Both amazing ? xxx
Oh thank you for commenting, Skevoulla! I’m so glad this was what you needed. When I read that, just made me feel so good inside. We all deserve happiness! Yes, I’m thankful to Natasha also. Xx ? x
Thank you Lorelle for that post. And thank you Natasha for giving Lorelle the forum to send her message. I’m not a ‘poster’, have never replied here to leave a message, but I am a regular reader of Natahsa’s and a self-imposed member of this tribe. Last night I had perhaps the worst night of my life…long story… I got home late, had too much to drink and had walked out of a bad situation to get home to my sleeping pills. This morning, I woke and feeling awful, and read Lorelle’s message. I just want to say you’re right. Simple. You are absolutely right. I have knowingly put myself in a bad romance for 2.5 years with my ‘intuition’ screaming at me the whole time…yet somehow I thought I could change it, make it right., be uber-special to one person like I see happens in the moves… I can’t, I know that today….I am now listening to my GPS going forward. If I had listened to it 2.5 years ago I would have spared myself some serious grief and pain. Natasha, thank you for pointing out that my white horse is MINE, he is a fearsome stallion in my imagination with strong muscles and eagerness to carry me somewhere that I need to be. My champion! Lorelle…my white horse is actually semantically my GPS. The two are now 1.
I am licking my emotional wounds today, but I will get on my white horse tomorrow and be the Knight I need me to be for me…. Thank you ladies. We survive and move forward together, as a tribe, with love. Joanna, London, Ontario, Canada
Your story is full of bravery because those things only happen when we are really suffering and in pain. But you do have such clarity – you can see it – all the little pieces are right in front of you. You said it so well yourself – about how we knowingly do things even though there is part of us that is whispering to us we need to be careful. I love what you write about the white horse – that is truly one of the most powerful parts of what Natasha shares with us all. It is such an empowering concept. It works for all of us too!
Take good care of you, and be kind to yourself. You’re so aware, and that’s a very powerful place to be. Don’t underestimate yourself. Trust yourself. You got this! Xx ?
Joanna – Thank you so much for sharing. I’m glad that the post served you as much as it did me and I am honored to have helped you come to these realizations. You got this and you are never, EVER alone. Love to you sister. xx
What a great perspective. It is a gift that I have been unable to fully accept. I have been in so much pain. Surviving. Working. Getting through the day but still feeling completely dead and joyless inside. But to turn this feeling around and call it a ‘powerful place’ just may be what gets me turned around. How many times did I turn off the GPS and WHY? It is becoming abundantly clear to me now. I am healing.
Lorelle…..thank you for such a beautiful, rich and inspiring post. Natasha….thank you for seeing her gift and sharing your space with this human.
Hey Sonja, thank you for your words, I’m so happy that reading this has meaning to you. I think we all need to practice tuning into ourselves more. Oh – I can’t tell you the amount of times I ‘knew’ but went ahead anyway! It’s like driving through a red light at peak hour isn’t it?
You ARE healing – absolutely because it always brings clarity and we learn to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we made. Our GPS doesn’t judge – it just stays with us, sending us what we need to know. Thank you, Sonja. Xx ?
🙂 glad you enjoyed it as much as I did! Miss you. x
This was a fantastic piece that totally resonated with me. Sometimes my GPS has gone off so loud and so hard and in my attempt to ignore it I’ve actually felt ill… rediculous when you think about it…
God bless this post and this site!
Hi Jas, wow! You are in tune with your intuition, it’s awesome when it just goes all out to tell you you’re up crap creek without a paddle! Sometimes I’ve had that sick feeling too. And once, these words came out my mouth from nowhere, in reply to someone who was potentially dangerous. I remember walking away so relieved but wondering where that voice came from.
It’s in all of us. It’s a real thing. Thanks for your comment , Jas XX ??
Happy it served you as much as it did me. Thanks Jas! 🙂 xxx
This post was beautiful and so spot on with what I’m going through. Trying to figure out when to walk away and not compromise your value when your GPS is telling you to reroute! Thank you so much for the wonderful words of wisdom!!
Thank you Sandy for your words. You are so right – never compromise yourself. Ever. Too high a price to pay. Keep tuning in to yourself. Trust yourself. You’ll go far. ? xx
Thank you so much Lorelle!
So much wisdom in your post. Thank you so much! I needed to read all of that and will read it again and again 🙂
I am going to share this with other hurting souls. Your words are a balm for my shattered soul.
Thank you so much!
Tess, I’m so touched by your words. It makes my heart melt because that’s what I wanted to do. Make others feel better and empowered. We all hurt too much sometimes. We need more love and kindness. Thanks for your beautiful comment! Bless, xxx ??
Thank you both Lorraine and Natasha.
I have been reading PMS for years now.
Lorelle, this writing of yours has come at a perfect time.
I have been stuck in a toxic relationship with a man who doesn’t value me and you are right. I feel my gut trying to reroute me. When I’m around him or his friends, even though I’m very kind, engaged and thoughtful, I feel like I’m never good enough or smart enough around them etc. I also feel invisible.
Whilst I love him so much, my GPS has been trying to get me to go another way. I can feel it. Yet, I’ve stayed and become even more lost and disoriented. Starting to believe I’m not good enough or overlooking some very awful behaviour.
So thank you for the much needed reminder and the eloquent way you worded it. You should be proud.
And thank you Natasha for all of your amazing work.
Hello Amanda, please reroute! You deserve to be happy, and I’m glad you can hear you’re inner whisper. You deserve love and happiness. Power to you, stay strong, you are on your white horse xx ? thank you for commenting . Xx
Hello Lorelle and Natasha,
I want to thank you for your lovely writing pieces; I went through a really tough break up about 9 months ago and I don’t know how I got through it but I did. Your posts really gave me some piece of mind during my darkest times and I want to thank you for that. I’m in the midst of my third year of university and we broke up at the end of our second year, so 2017 was a really tough year for me but I’ve grown so much.
Your posts gave me confidence on my lowest days, when I *literally* could not get up off the floor because I was crying so hard. I remember it had been a couple of months after the breakup; I was so low and at one of my worst points, but after reading one of your posts I decided to upload an Instagram selfie and it ended up being one of my most-liked photos at the time so that made me feel awesome LOL.
Furthermore, I’m really looking forward to what you have coming out in the new year. I know it’s going to be great!
This piece was absolutely beautiful as it touched on so many important aspects of human being in mind, emotions, and spirituality. This helped me achieve a lot of validity in reflection with myself because for a pretty long time, I struggled with that “what if” feeling. This article allowed me to remember those red flags and the warning signs that I had forgotten about. Thank you for helping me remember those vital feelings and for helping me find solidarity with my intuition. I struggled more than anything in my life with this break up but I’m finally on the flip side of it and I’m so thankful for that.
I hope you both have a wonderful evening.
Lorelle, as with so many PMS readers, I have read, loved, been inspired by your sensitive and spot on comments. I love that Natasha selected you for a guest post. Well done! And, as it seemingly always is with PMS posts, the timing was perfect! Thank you.
That is such a kind thing to say, Jill. I’m very overwhelmed today (in a warm happy way) with the beautiful words and encouragement. It’s the most awesome place, PMS and such a very important element in Natasha’s world. This is just the most blessed opportunity for me and I’m totally grateful for it. Thank you for your encouragement – I really mean that. Xx??
Awww Rachel, what a beautiful, heartfelt message, you really are on the ‘flip side’ of your breakup – you sound so strong and self aware. I love the way you wrote that you were so thankful for that – when we appreciate where we are in life, we also gain perspective and it help s us decide where we will go next. You’re right – there is so much validity in self reflection. You go, girl!
Thank you so much for your words. I’m just like everyone else here, learning as I go, and appreciating what I have and what I learn from life’s lessons. That’s why we all relate to each other. Xx??
Thanks for a beautiful post. I have just emerged from a two year phase of self discovery and growth brought on by a tumult of hurtful behavior and painful moments from multiple people in my life — but, as you said, am like the Phoenix rising. That line sure resonated since I was at my lowest point ever what I started and now life is so much better — could not have done it without alot of soul searching and introspection guided so much by Natasha and this blog. I just love what you said about the brick wall — what a great metaphor for life — will keep it in mind next time I knowingly start to ignore red flags (in retrospect, there’s not one I didn’t see but chose to ignore) — and reroute before I hit that wall — although I am in such a different place now than I was then that I don’t think it’ll ever get to that point — but never hurts to have some good tools at the ready for the more challenging days. Thanks to you both!
Michelle, thanks for messaging. You know that ‘Phoenix rising’ quote, that was the thing that got me through a very dark time in my life. I knew it couldn’t get any worse, so I used to visualise becoming stronger and emerging out of it all as a newer version of myself. That nothing could ever crush me. So I’m glad that resonated with you also.
Yes, you can do a lot of soul searching through this amazing blog and Natasha has helped me immensely there too. That’s how I actually started to be less fearful (often my default position) through reading Natasha’s words.
I’m so glad you are in such a good place, and I like what you said about it’s good to have a set of ‘tools’ handy on the challenging days. It’s great to look back and see how far you have come in life, reflection is truly full of wisdom.
Thanks for your words, Michelle. Xx ?
🙂 Happy that you love this post as much as I do! Thanks Michelle! XOX
Hello Natasha and Lorelle. First I agree it was a great idea to have a guest post. So nice. Bravo ? Lorelle!!!
Your works are so on target. I always feel the obstacles. It is still a chore for me after almost six months. You are correct in saying to follow our GPS. We women are born with it and freely admit that I have disconnected Rome it many times because I was not wanting to listen to the truth. It was painful but in the end I experienced the pain anyway so I was foolish not to trust myself. I think we all do it. I am aware now and am working n trusting myself. I am alone a lot and it is hard but I am not wasting time with empty people. I am trying to polish me. This is helpful inthat process. I think this applies to friendships too. I have realized of late I do not have many true friends but that is ok. I trust myself in choosing to reroute because it s a brick wall. I will read this post many more times because of its powerful message and support and though these things are hard to hear or absorb about ourselves, they are necessary. Just as Natasha delivers all he words with love so too did you Lorelle. A big thank you to you both. This came in a day where I was struggling.
My wish is that we can all meet someday and feel the love and strength we receive in these posts but in person. I will keep hoping.
Lorelle you are amazing and I love your gift and that you do get it.
Natasha once again I am fed by your gifts as well. You are both riding big white horses today. Stay on them so I can catchup with you both. ????. Be well.
Awww Linda, I’m just reading your words as I lay here in bed ready to sleep. It’s been a very long hot day and I’ve been overwhelmed with emotion today with the heartfelt comments I’ve been reading and replying to. And then there is this – what you wrote.
It’s ok. I don’t have a lot of friends either. I don’t mind it though. It protects you from those who aren’t so genuine. I love what you wrote about not spending time with empty people. Well – you are wise there my lovely for saying that gem! I love what you wrote too about ‘polishing’ yourself. Yes, yes, yes, so you can SHINE!
I love what you said too about your wishes – it’s so beautiful that people feel so connected here. So loved and safe. Thank you so much for your sweet words and compliments.
What made me cry though was when I read ‘you are both riding big white horses today’ – that’s such a beautiful analogy.
Natatsha really opened her heart up to me to let me do this and it’s a trust thing when someone does that. I’m forever going to be touched by this.
Yes, we are all riding our horses here, sometimes we lead, sometimes we follow and sometimes we just ride alone. But we all relate and have learned the valuable lesson that falling off doesn’t stop you getting back on. ?
I’m so full of happiness tonight. I had no idea of the things people would share from this. It’s night here with the moon shining in a clear sky and day is just dawning on the other side of the world. Yet we are all so connected. Time and space mean nothing.
Tears. Happiness. Love. Connectedness. Vulnerability. Gratitude. Shared wisdom.
A perfect day.
Have a perfect day too , Linda. Xxx ?????
Thank you Lorelle. I appreciate your comment. I think you should enjoy all the wonderful comments and know you did a wonderful thing here. ?. Have a great day and take care for now. ???
Linda – I am so right there with you my dear. It’s been the same amount of time for me and I still struggle sometimes. It is hard to hear some of these things and even though logically you know this was for the best, it’s still hard to turn it off completely. I can go on and on about what happened, why, how, etc., and I guess the hardest part for me is letting go of the thought that things could have been any different. I know in my heart and soul I did everything I could in my relationship with the ex, but it was never going to be enough no matter what. He would have just kept taking and taking… and he truly was disconnected from himself and was empathetically bankrupt. How was our relationship ever going to survive without that? It can’t. I know that now.
These days I am working on me and working towards forgiveness…. not easy by any means.
You are a beautiful person Linda and I too hope all of us girls can meet one day! I would so love to give you all the biggest hugs. My sisters around the world.
Lots of love and hugs my dear.
Hello Vicki. Thank you so much for taking time to write me. I am very touched.
It is very rough. I too was with someone who was disconnected but I guess I did not see it. He did all the right things until he dropped the bomb and told me that he was in a dark place, did not like himself, could not return love to me and on and on. The worst part is I knew him for many years before we had a romantic relationship. It was long distance so all the flags were there. I just didn’t listen. I guess it’s like you say that no matter what it was not going to grow. I still feel at fault but I know I have him love so I have no doubts about that. I still work on forgiveness which like you say is not easy.
The silence is what is killing me. The constant going over the details of the past. I am trying though. Working out helps and dark chocolate every once in a while. You are not alone. You are a beautiful person as well and i think we have to be patient with ourselves. I hope to see all the tribe soon ?. I thank you again for reaching out. Take care for now and keep your head up. I am trying to even though it’s heavy. Stay on your horse. ???
Linda – I so get everything you are saying Linda, I really really do. The silence and pain that come with that is almost too much. And you are 100% correct, patience with ourselves is what is needed to heal. I think sometimes we try too hard to get over the hurt too quickly so we don’t have to feel those overwhelming emotions, but we must feel all of it if we are ever going to move forward. We have to grieve the loss and there is no time frame of when or how this happens. Everyone moves at their own pace and in their own time. Some days are easier than others, but we manage to get thru it don’t we. I just wanted you to know that I do understand how you feel and what you are going thru. You are not alone and you are valued, loved and appreciated here my dear sister.
Sending lots of prayers and hugs your way.
Thank you Vicki. I am touched. Thank you for your support and understanding. It gives me strength. I agree that it takes time. I’m just going at my own pace. Thank you again and my prayers and all good thoughts are with you too. Happy to talk to you my sister. ???
love you Linda. I am with you my dear sister. Always.
I am looking SO forward to that day 🙂 I love you Linda and I appreciate you more than words. XOX
Thank you for not only writing this guest post, but for taking the time to answer everyone’s comments.
PMS is an incredible blog. Because of this blog I have been able to open my eyes to my own lack of self worth and have been making changes in my life that I am so proud of. Your GPS and re-routing post hit home for me as well, because in looking back at certain situations I can definitely see my GPS urging me to re-route, and I also could see myself actively ignoring those signals. But not anymore. PMS has helped me find a new sense of self awareness, and is helping me truly take a look at eyerything I do, and actively work on loving myself. I also started writing down 5 things I am grateful for every night, which has helped me re-route negative thoughts into something I can be grateful for instead of dwelling on the negative. Natasha and this blog have made that list several times, and now you have too. THANK YOU!
Hi Ann-Kathrin! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I agree – this post is so profound. That is a great practice. Gratitude is the slayer of fear, resent, anger and self-sabotage. You go girl. All my love to you. XX
I just saw your post. You know what is wonderful about hindsight? We realise we were onto something even though we ignored it. It’s a beautiful thing to look back and realise you DID know something was up – even if at the time you tried to see things through rose coloured glasses.
You are doing so many positive things – awesome girl you are! I love what you wrote about loving yourself more. It is a very hard thing to do – when you come from a lonely p?ace of feeling unlovable. But you are lovable. And when you learn to love yourself others can do it too.
Big hugs and btw – I love your name! So pretty xxx ????
I am doing much better by the way. I did contact him a few times but backed away before anything could happen. So yes I did fall off my white horse but the good thing is I climbed right back on it. I still think of him but I don’t want to be with him. And you of all people know that’s major progress for me. Thanks as always…… Your the best…… Can’t wait for your mom’s post, she looks gorgeous btw, in that black and white pic with you as a child 🙂
Loved your post….. The timing was perfect, I was just feeling a bit low thinking about my ex and then I read your post and I am back on track:)…… It’s taken me a painfully long time to get too where I am and I still have a long way to go but it’s comforting to know that I am not alone and that I have my emotional GPS to rely on…. I am so glad you and Natasha hooked up:)
Lots of love to you both
Awww that’s great to hear Meg. That’s what I wanted, to help others feel empowered and not feel isolated and without direction. You’re doing the most awesome job. You really are. Blessings and love to you. You are definitely NOT alone and keep your white horse travelling towards the warmth and love in life. You’re safe there and so much love is ahead for you xxx ?
Meg! HI! 🙂 It’s so good to hear from you. I’ve thought of you often and missed you.
Thank you! I am so excited for her post too.
Love you Meg. You are never alone. xoxo
My favorite part of this was — Brick walls are not a sign to get out a jack hammer and pound away. That made me laugh out loud. Can’t even count how many times (life, love, professionally) I’ve seen a brick wall and said “no problem, just have to work harder/smarter.” ? Suddenly I’m googling “how to operate bulldozer in heels” instead of turning the eff around. You ladies just have a way of understanding that warms my heart and makes me so grateful for this space Natasha has built.
Lol! Irena! Yes, I could have gotten work on a construction site with my jack hammer skills. No job was too tough ?
Then one day you realise your contraction site is empty so you begin to work out that you are in the wrong place ( duh!)
Thanks for reading and put that jack hammer down for good. Go paint your nails instead hehe. Yes, Natasha has built the most amazing love filled space. Well said!
Xxx love ????????????
You and me both! LOL! Love you sister 🙂 xx
Thank you Natasha for giving me the beautiful opportunity to do this. I’m just so humbled and so happy.
I’ve had some times in my life when I have felt completely lost, insignificant and of no value.
This has meant so much because I never want others to ever feel that way. Like I said, if it can make just one person feel less alone or more empowered then I’ll be feeling I have some purpose.
I’m just blown away by this and I cannot imagine how hearts will melt when your Mom writes on here. An army of white horses will appear on that day! ?????????????????????????
Like I wrote to Linda, I know how much trust it takes to let someone do this on your blog. Because you have invested so much love, time and energy into it, and I’m so humbled by this.
You are so loved and admired and you have started a true following. Your book will be nothing short of groundbreaking, this I know. ??
Collective wisdom is a beautiful thing. It’s growing here on the daily. This blog of yours has a pulse. It’s more like a room full of people than a selection of articles.
So, thank you again beautiful girl for inviting me to do this. It’s been totally cathartic for me. I wanted to give something but I’ve recieved sooo much back I can’t even really digest it yet.
It’s beautiful. Thank you. I’ll never forget. With so much love xxxx
Good night soul sister. Sweetest of dreams. ??????xxx
The pleasure is all mine. This was/is ALL you. You have such an incredible gift and I am so honored to have provided a platform for this beautiful light of yours to shine as it always has and always does.
I trusted you before we ever spoke because I was able to see my own pain in how honestly and empathetically you expressed yours.
I am so excited for my Mom’s post too! 🙂 She is beyond what words could ever describe.
You deserve all of the love and good things coming your way.
Love you soul sister. xxxx
I agree! I think Natasha has done an incredible job crating this blog. I was crying myself to sleep for months and months and felt like there was no end to the agony I was in, then one night I was Googling articles, after I hit my own brick wall (Lorelle you’ve said is so good) “does my (sociopath) ex miss” I felt like everything I was reading my gut knew it was true. It’s so hard when you’re in that mess to find outlets that help, friends try but they don’t really understand .. I’m lucky I ran into your blog! I feel good again now but you speak with such raw sincerity and I’ll be a fan for a long time! ??????
Hi Danielle, yes where would we be without this beautiful blog space. I know it has given me so much solace. There is a lot of love here – and it’s what the world needs more of. I love what you said about recognising your gut was telling the truth. Have a beautiful weekend. Big hugs xxx ???
Ah Lorelle this post was exactly what I needed today.
I’ve lately come off anti-depressants which I went on two years ago in a bid to help me deal with the sh*tstorm that my life had become, I’ve spent that time graudually healing and trying to love myself again. Natasha’s blog and reading her words and those of other people who were also dealing with their own issues and trying to stay on their white horses, really helped me and gave me hope on so many days.
Since coming off the tablets I find that I am, more than ever needing to trust my emotional GPS which needed a good “update”, I have to regualte my own emotions more and also trust them which is scary and unnerving especially having suffered low self esteem, I admit some days it’s hard to love myself and turst that what I am thinking and feeling is right and that having bounderies and walking away, both physically and emotionally, from certain people is not wrong. That I do not deserve to be treated the way I have and I am worthwhile.
Anyway, I was having one of “those days” today but your words have made me feel stronger, so thank you so very much.
Oh Nicola, I just saw your post. You are truly one strong and resilient warrior girl! To have that much self understanding and compassion for yourself after coming off anti depressants is simply a credit to who you are. It is not easy to do that and I love how you are tuning into yourself and listening. It’s a very powerful place to be.
I too have battled low self esteem but I realised one day, I was worth not only someone’s time but I was lovable too! It was a very big moment for me and I’ll never forget it. Boundaries shoot up stronger and higher and your ‘unacceptable behaviour’ list gets longer. However, out of that peace and protectiveness, you get to grow and really value yourself.
Suddenly others do too then and anyone unworthy of you, they just fall out of your life.
I’m really sorry I just saw your post so I hope you read this. Be strong lovely, because you are over the worst. Ride your white horse knowing you are safe and loved. I’m so humbled by people like you. You are beautiful and strong, Nicola.
Thank you for taking the time to write to me and I’m sending you so much love back … keep the faith. And yes, you are very WORTHY, xxx ??????
Ooh! Now that’s good. What a very wise, wonderful article. I certainly wasn’t listening to my GPS when I kept trying with my situation. Deep down I knew I was wasting my time, but kept running into my brick wall when I was ignored. You’re so right, we must listen to our inner voice.
Thank you for these wonderful words.
Hi Sue, I’m so glad this resonated with you. Oh my, I learnt the hard way many times. But I know when to take notice now. There is much beauty in a hard lesson learned. The journey is worth it as the destination is priceless. Natasha writes so much about how part of healing is to love yourself and your mistakes. We feel too much fear and shame in life and what for? It gets us nowhere. I love your words “deep down I knew”. So much soul truth there! Have a beautiful weekend Sue and thanks for your comment. Xx ?
Honestly, i don’t know what i love more – Lorelle’s post or the comments! I guess i don’t have to choose. Thank you so much, Lorelle, for your inspiring words, your empathy and compassion. I wish i knew you “in real life” but i feel like i kinda do… Anyway, i just want to say that the love in these comments has made my day and really helps restore some faith in humanity. I hope it doesn’t come off as condescending, but i am so proud of you for all your work and that you are able to help so many others through Natasha’s blog.
Natasha, you have such a gift for building people up and showing them their strength – thank you a million times for being you.
As always, so much love and light to everyone in this tribe and i look forward to mom’s post and more from Lorelle and of course our guru, Natasha!
Oh Lori! Hey how are you?
I’m so grateful for your words, and I totally agree, reading these comments has melted my heart and made me feel such a mix of emotions. Sadness for the pain people bear at times, happiness for the sense of connectedness and love, buoyed up by the beautiful words of encouragement and gratitude. I’m so humbled because in this world we live in there is such a lack of kindness. I feel so touched by the sweet and loving comments written here. You know that saying “my cup runneth over?” Well I’m swimming in a pool over here!
To be able to say something to make someone else feel better in a small way, or to make a connection for someone who is hurting that they are on the right path, that is the most soul touching experience.
I lost my sense of connection to myself at one point through creating numbness so I could deal with daily life. I found that again though by reading Natasha’s words again and again, nights of it. Reading and re reading the same and new articles. Can you imagine the book when it comes out?
I’m bowled over still that Natasha asked me to do this. It’s almost surreal that it’s happened! I want to thank you again for your words. They mean so much and I’ll never forget this experience.
The thing I really find mind blowing about this blog as you can actually feel ‘love” when you come here. You’re so right, Natasha builds people up. Little tiny seedlings pushing up out of the darkness and feeling strong enough to grow.
I feel like I know people here too. It’s just such a gift.
I often wonder if Natasha had any inkling of how big this venture of hers would become. Pure awesomeness at PMS.
Love to you Lori. I hope you’re happy and life is beautiful for you as you deserve that in all ways. Xxx big kiss ?????
I’m glad I’m not the only one struggling after 6 months. I sometimes question my sanity by still analyzing every word and detail. But I realize
my issues go much deeper than Him.
I feel like he took something, that I struggle to get back. Trust, Self esteem? Not sure.
It’s like I was standing, holding an empty shopping bag. And he came along and filled it up with compliments, promises, moments, and so on.
And there I was, gleaming that my shopping bag was full.
Then in one conversation, he took the bag, emptied it, and ran. He took all the contents of what made me feel good about myself and he just left me standing there holding an empty bag.
And now I’m questioning why I’m holding onto an empty bag in the first place.
Thank you for this post and this blog.
Natasha, I hope everything is going great for you. You have helped me more than you know!
Christine, you wrote it so we’ll when you described your full shopping bag. It IS like that!
The pain will pass. It is very hard to deal with having it all – then realising you actually have nothing.
When it seemed perfect – and then it is gone.
It is very painful, and it is hard not to go back and try and work out what happened in your head all the time.
Baby steps. Day by day. Be really kind to yourself. Buy yourself something lovely. Burn candles. Buy flowers. Work out more. Create a Sunday ritual where you maybe eat lunch with a friend or watch a movie at home and give yourself a pedicure.
These things help. A lot. Read the articles on here. They will really soothe your soul. Read about emotionally unavailable and break ups. Learn about self love and self esteem. Natasha’s lat3st article is about saying no. Read that.
Self soothing does being a level of comfort. Reading this blog will give you a level of self empowerment.
You are hurt but you are also healing. Day by day you are stronger, in small ways. That you don’t even notice. But it’s happening.
Be kind to yourself, Christine. Only spend time with those who lift you up. Ride your white horse. Love yourself.
You got this …..?????
🙂 love you Lorelle. X
Thank you so much for sharing. I have been there and can relate on every level. You are not alone.
Thank you for being you and for being a part of this tribe. I am so happy and honored to help 🙂
All my love to you sister. xx
Thank you Natasha. You are a beautiful person, inside and out!
Takes one to know one 🙂 xoxo Love you Christine.
Christine – you are not alone with your thoughts. Some of us still have our moments even after it’s been months. Be patient with yourself and don’t think you have to be healed and over it. It’s okay to feel the way you do. Let it out, cry it out, scream, bitch, be angry or whatever you have to in order to not bottle it all up inside. Yes, some days it will be more painful than other, but I promise you it will get a little easier with time. Stay strong sweetie. Love yourself first and foremost and be kind to you!
Lots of hugs and blessings my friend.
Thank you Vicki!
I read your words as I was having a good cry in my car at lunch. I still work with him so I basically try my best to
get thru each day, knowing at some point I will find another job and finally be able to put this in better perspective.
I appreciate your time and support!
Thank you for your words, time and support Lorelle! As hard as this was to go thru, it was an eye opener.
I never noticed the pattern of men I was choosing before. I never asked why I was attracted to only men that I had to jump
thru hoops to be with. Hmmm……. it is beginning to make sense, thanks to women like you and Natasha and blogs such as
Thank you again!
🙂 all my love to you Christine. Thank YOU. xxxx
Thank you for this post. I could not have read it at a more appropriate time. This has been happening to me for the past two weeks! It feels like this post is describing exactly what I’m experiencing and feeling. And you are so right about ignoring the signs and what that does as far as trusting myself goes. It makes me question and obsess and doubt every little instinct or feeling that I feel which really does a number on my self esteem and my feeling loveable and more importantly, respected and valued. Because of this post Lorelle, I think I will be able to get some sleep finally after 2 very long, torturous, ugly, hellish weeks. Also, thanks to Natasha for publishing this post as the first guest post on her blog! It is an awesome one! ? It helped me more than you two will ever know! I appreciate and love this blog and it has become very important to me over the past few months. It is now one of my tools I keep in my toolbox to help me cope with this crazy thing called life! Thanks again and please keep up the good and (always looked forward to) Work! You ladies are amazing!
Hi sweet Julia, power to you girl! If you can see so much around you, then you are definitely standing in a strong place.
We feel so much emotion when we are suffering that it is hard to separate our ‘perception’ or interpretation of things from the actual reality.
When we begin trusting ourselves and stop trying to make the best of unhealthy situations – we gain clarity and knowledge. I’m so happy to read your words! Thank you so much for writing and sharing.
I’m sorry for your two weeks of hell. You’re the flash of light that got you out of the darkness. It’s always inside us. ?
Yes, such a beautiful experience to write on Natasha’s tribal blog! It’s something I’ll treasure in my heart. I usually come here to read her awesome insights….but writing this has helped me centre myself and reaffirm what brings me happiness and peace. I’m just forever grateful it is meaningful to others. Love begets love. Xx have a beautiful week, Julia. Keep shining your light. It’s bright! ??? xx
Lorelle, what an amazing, inspiring and well written post! Thank you so much for writing this. It resonates so much with me right now because I am currently in the stages of self love after a fall out of a casual relationship. Everything you say is true about being in touch with your emotional GPS and rerouting it so that it all comes back to YOU. I am a blogger myself and have posted about my journey about my choices in “barely there” relationships. If you like, you can follow and subscribe here: kmaesleigh.wixsite.com/youerthanyou
Thanks so much for such an inspiring post. Keep up the good work!
Hi Kat, thanks for your lovely words. I’m glad they resonated with you – and even happier you are in a good place since you moved on. Some relationships just aren’t meant for us. ?
I checked out the link to your blog. I’ll go back and have a good read. You go, girl! I don’t have a blog, but I admire those who take the time to nurture one. A lot of love goes into growing them.Xx ???
Thanks so much Lorelle and Natasha for sharing your beautiful work! It resonates with me like poetry.
I stumbled across this site after I literally experienced a “blue moon” on March 31st. This was just one of many signs pointing me forward. After falling off my whitehorse and as I watched my faithful steed clear the brick wall, (without me) I lost all hope. I am working to reunite with my steed and am excited to continue the epic journey. I still am experiencing confusion and disconnectedness at times, but I know this will pass. A this time, I am my only friend. I looked at some support groups, but was not drawn to their shallowness. I am finding solace, love and connection with the many heartfelt postings. The work echoes through me on so many levels.
My self worth has been decimated by allowing a man to not value me. I am not a victim. I knowingly disregarded the red flags early on.
Lots of healing hugs to all….
Right back at you sister <3 Happy that you love this post as much as I do. X
Good evening all,
I too have had my heart broken, shattered actually, never have I been in love like this before, and never so broken afterward. I met an ivy league professor, worked with him for two months and felt so special, special to be near him, work with him……..I noticed almost immediately his arrogance, haughty attitude, with a quick to criticize manner. My response was to baby him, try to please him, and this seemed to work. He was short tempered with me and I always felt like I was on edge when with him but yet fell head over heels for him. I truly believed that I was special, special to be working with him, special to him. I did not notice that he never asked how I was, what was going on with me, anything, other than how I could help him…….I was flying when with him, unable to process his manner, just making myself believe that he was falling in love too, although he never said so or really acted so. On our last day together I was devastated when he brought another woman with him, as I believed that our last day would bring disclosure between us, but not with another woman there……..he expected me to drive him and her to a symposium. I drove them and then felt like I wanted to die…………once I got home, I was sure that he would come for me once he figured out how much he loved me. You know……………………………..he never called and it has now been two months. All I do is cry, unable to sleep or work or anything…………..I am so broken by this experience, so shamed by how I responded to him, a complete doormat, and yet I still want him back……………….what is wrong with me? Found your post and you are telling my story……………..how do you go on after this, …..please keep writing……..this is the only site that makes any sense…………………..margaret
You are not alone Margaret <3 we are all here for and with you. I'm happy that the posts have helped and wish that I had the time to write more (thank you for your kindness and understanding). I do offer one-on-one coaching if you need further help and other readers are here to support you. All my love to you sister. xx
Thank you for writing this. It puts something I have been feeling into a more understandable concept. I am soon turning 40 and have tried to ignore my emotional GPS for the last 30+ years. I’m happy to say that I am finally learning how to trust my instincts. It’s working well now with romantic and friend relationships, but when it comes to my family it seems to be more confusing. What I thought was a close relationship with my parents and sister, I now see as something I have wanted to escape from for years, but always thought I was selfish for having those feelings. I thought family was supposed to uplift, support, and be non-judgmental, but I feel the opposite from them and have for many years. I know their intentions are not malicious. I have tried to address some issues with them in person and in therapy with myself, but some of the lasting effects from betrayal and constant negativity just can’t seem to be undone. I can’t see myself completely cutting them out of my life, but I also feel that to live my own life I have to have distance. I think I am afraid to admit that what I thought was a support system has actually been poisoning my feelings of self worth and I am ready to move on. When your GPS is leading you away from family, do you still listen?