I’ve gotten so many requests to write about the Law of Attraction. And even though it’s probably not the first thing that comes to mind when you think of self-help or relationship and breakup advice, I decided to write about it.
Why?
- It directly relates to the one thing I have dedicated my life to helping others achieve: a solid relationship with themselves, first and foremost.
- I wanted to share what I’ve personally learned (which debunks a lot of the confusing/conflicting information that’s out there) and simplify this concept that, unbeknownst to me, I was doing wrong for many years.
- This has worked for me, plain and simple. And when things work, I like to share them. Of course, this is just my OPINION. I am not a professional of any kind. I have a college degree but when it comes to everything that I write and speak about, my education is experiential, not scholastic.
I am *not in any way* trying to say that my interpretation of this law is the “end all be all.” There are many other resources out there that I am sure, explain this concept much better than I ever could. This is how I understand it and what has worked for me personally.
What is the Law of Attraction?
According to Wikipedia, the Law of Attraction “is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.” Basically, whatever you stay focused on is what you will attract; “like attracts like.”
The vibration of your beliefs and your most dominant/habitual thoughts (whether they be conscious or subconscious) will attract circumstances, situations, events, relationships, and people into your life that correspond with the (positive or negative) vibration of those thoughts and beliefs.
Your relationships, your health, your wealth, and every facet of your life is influenced by this universal law.
Sadly, the Law of Attraction got popularized to the point of it not only being an avenue to sell snake oil, but it got very contradictory and convoluted in the process of becoming so main-stream.
Many people thought that all they had to do was just *think* about what they wanted and, “SHAZAM!” they’d attract it.
This couldn’t be further from reality and what the Law of Attraction is truly about. It’s also, unfair (and potentially dangerous) to those who are terminally ill (or have a family member who is ill), are in financial trouble, etc. and have a false expectation that this law will “take care of everything.” It won’t.
No matter how much I think about my Mom being cancer-free, those thoughts will not cure her cancer. But there is a power of attraction which I have personally experienced (even related to my Mother’s health) and I have definitely manifested emotional freedom and a life that I never thought was in the cards for me.
I’ve learned that this law, no matter how many times I’ve told myself it doesn’t work, is fail-proof. If you’re observant enough, you’ll recognize that just like the Law of Gravity, it always works.
The Law of Attraction explained
How to use the Law of Attraction: first, identify your vibrational frequencies.
I believe that we create our own reality. This is a very empowering belief but for years, this belief drained me of my power. I was trying to control my reality without first acknowledging my vibration and then, adjusting where I needed to.
Stay with me here…
Everything is pure energy (your thoughts, yourself, other people, external circumstances – good and bad). That energy is vibrating at different frequencies. And since like attracts like, vibrations of similar frequencies attract each other like magnets.
You may want someone or something more than you’ve ever wanted anything. You may even be the most deserving person to get whatever it is you specifically want. But you only attract what you are in vibrational harmony with.
Your vibrational frequency is based solely on your habitual thoughts and belief system. This means that if you have a positive attitude, you will attract positive experiences, circumstances, situations, events, people, and relationships. If you have a negative attitude, you will attract experiences, events, situations, people, and relationships into your life that you would identify at best as an “energy drain;” at worst as unhealthy and toxic.
You have the ability to consciously create your reality. This is done by adjusting your vibrational frequency and thus, directly influencing what you attract.
I could write for days about this all but I want to keep it as short, easy, and accessible as possible.
Here are the steps I took to create my own reality:
- Change your frequency by ditching the victim mentality and finger-pointing. The Law of Attraction is not about being a victim. It’s not about blaming anything or anyone (including yourself) for what you are going through in the present moment. This will only attract more experiences, situations, and relationships that fill your self-limiting, self-fulfilling prophecy. The Law of Attraction is about taking full ownership of your current circumstances to the point of empowerment. It’s about realizing that everything you are feeling and experiencing right now is a direct result of two things: 1) Decisions you’ve chosen to make 2) Your tolerations (what you’ve chosen to tolerate in life). When you start to take responsibility for the results in your life by acknowledging the attraction power of your thoughts, you will never again finger-point for something that you are the maker of – the quality of your dominant thoughts. The universe will reward this level of accountability, responsibility, and awareness in spades. Very few people can operate on this level.
- Do not approach this with an IOU. The universe is neutral. It does not owe you anything and you don’t owe it anything. You can either meet it half-way by taking responsibility for your thoughts or, you can choose to spit in its face and declare war. The choice is always yours.
- You don’t need to learn. You don’t need to “learn” the Law of Attraction. It’s already working for you whether you accept it and are aware of it or not. For years, I got caught up in trying to “understand” this law, which is totally unnecessary. What you need to understand is that in order to attract the relationships, circumstances, situations, events, and experiences that you want, you have to accept reality. The reality is, your external world will always be a direct reflection of your internal world. It is the quality of your internal vibration that attracts the quality you externally desire.
- In order to attract what you want, you have to believe that you are WORTHY of it.
- There is no “activation” of this law. It is activated and working at all times – no matter what you do or do not do. In order to attract what I wanted in life, I had to be extremely aware of the vibrational frequency and the quality/nature of my thoughts. After that, I observed how my actions carried out my thoughts. And then, the hardest part… I had to put my trust in the universe. I had to trust this law. This can be scary but what do you have to lose? I know the other shoe has always dropped whenever you’ve banked on happiness but you have to accept that you don’t have all the answers. You will never be perfect and you really don’t know what’s best for you. Which leads me to…
- You will never get your desired result by being specific. Let’s say you wanted a black Bentley. Do not start thinking, “black Bentley, black Bentley, black Bentley!” If you do, you’ll probably see more black Bentleys on the street but you won’t attract one into your garage. NEVER, EVER assume that you are smarter than the universe. By being that specific with make, model, color, and even wanting a car, you are translating to the universe that you know what’s best for you; that you know what you need more than the universe ever could. You will then, attract more feelings and experiences affirming that you don’t know what’s truly best for you. Surrender and put your trust in the universe here. Instead of thinking “black Bentley,” think of how having that Bentley will make you feel. Focus on a feeling and let that vibration emmenate. The universe may have something much better in store for you than a black Bentley. But you’ll never know until you surrender to a higher power and trust that the universe knows what’s best for you. I always focus on a feeling of security. I don’t think of all the little things I want that would supposedly “make me feel secure.” I think about how secure I want to feel – with my looks, as a woman, as a daughter, a friend, a Godmother, etc. I want to feel secure in my business, my health, my wealth, and the health of my loved ones. I focus on a feeling of security. I don’t focus on specific things, hoping they plop into my lap. I believe this is why, after many painful breakups, no amout of obsessing and thinking about my exes ever “brought them back.” I just kept attracting more experiences that affirmed how I felt: insecure and alone. Recognizing my value, building a life of my own, and surrendering to what was (which made me feel empowered and secure) always had them circling back around. But what if you can’t activate a feeling of security?….
- Start small. In order to adjust your vibration and attract the life and relationships you want, you need to believe that what you want is actually possible. The feeling that you want to feel *cannot* give you anxiety. If it does, you will just end up attracting more relationships, situations, and experiences that ellicit stress. I may not feel secure, but I can close my eyes and imagine feeling secure with a deep sense of certainty. For example, it may not be Christmas Eve today but I can imagine seeing a tree with presents under it in a few months because I know it’s coming. I can imagine my birthday coming because I know it will. You have to imagine the feeling you want to feel with a sense of certainty – no matter what happens, you know it’s coming – just like Christmas (if not, substitute whatever you celebrate) or your birthday. Get excited that it is coming, no matter what, because it is. Visualize how secure you will feel, and watch what happens in your life.
The law of attraction is nothing more than making the decision to optimize your mental health and being aware that your actions correspond with your level of psychological fitness. It’s also about surrendering and trusting that you are not alone in this world.
The universe always has your back. It’s now time to meet it half-way.
x Natasha
+ If you need further and more personalized help with your relationship, please look into working with me here.
Natasha, this is a masterpiece. What comes over most clearly is that you live this and don’t just talk about it. This concept has been used, abused and exploited in a consumerist way so much, to the point it’s almost become a ‘product’ that we can ‘acquire’. You have expertly communicated and set out the living truth within it and I appreciate the beauty that shines through …A Majestically Badass Post and an absolute delight to receive on a once-again locked-down Saturday morning. Much love and virtual hugs from your Badass sister on fire!!!!! Xxxxx
I am in tears over here. Thanks, Helen 🙂 I was a bit unsure about writing this but I’m glad I did.
And I couldn’t agree more! Nothing makes me sicker than seeing people getting taken advantage of. This is a very simple and accessible concept that doesn’t need to drain *anyone’s* wallet to master.
Love you, sister! xxx
Hi Natasha,
Thank you so much for this post, it will help me so much in the future and I’m so grateful to have found your site (through a kind friend). This week has been tough, back to school and work. Back to seeing my ex (we work together but because of lock down we haven’t seen much of each other). It has been an emotional week to say the least. I desperately want to make positive changes in my life, to find a new job and to have those good feelings of security and to feel worthy and respected. I am applying for new jobs and I will try to follow your principles and hope that they help to put me in the right path towards more positive and optimistic future. Thank you, you are such an inspiration. ?? x
Thank you for this enlightening post.
I feel like I am constantly failing at this. I have so many unwanted thought all the time about loving and missing my ex even though he’s done thing to make him unworthy of my love and betrayed me.
But I feel like I can’t control these thought in my grief and ultimately they will lead me to a similar toxic relationship.
Your posts truly help me bring some healthy, self loving ideas to help me in this fight. Thank you so much!
Thank YOU so much, Yuval, for being a part of this tribe and taking the time to reach out.
If I can get out of the cycle, so.can.YOU. I believe in you.
Happy that this post served you; YOU CAN DO THIS. xox
It takes one to know one, Sarah 🙂 I can only imagine how difficult and emotional this week has been. Please know that you are not alone. You are loved, understood, backed, believed in, and supported here in this tribe.
You got this.
All my love to you. xox
Thank you so much for this Natasha! You explained it so beautifully. I’m proud to say that 3 years after I found your site, I’m doing SO much better. There have been many lessons since then, but I can say that my life is almost a 180 from that time. I still haven’t yet met my dream person, but I’m no longer obsessed about that or feeling a void. My life is rich, full, and beautiful, with or without a man. I was so lost and empty, but I don’t feel that anymore. The Universe is amazing and I’m so grateful I realized that it all starts with ME ???
YES! This made my day 🙂 Love you Kim! You’ve been with me from the beginning and I will never forget it/you! xox
Delightful! So succinct! I have been listening to Law Of Attraction and Manifesting talks often (every day) now, especially to go to sleep. It certainly has been making life more fun and feel lighter, which has improved dealing with (and has shortened) challenges / conflicts. Plus, the good stuff feels…next level.
Your post resonates with truth from my experience too! I love how you focus on “security”. I often say “prosperity, health, and freedom”…Am starting to do your security imagining too! It’s funny you mention Christmas because this month has been feeling like Christmas to me, which I was thinking was rather random…or am I just aligning well? Anyone else feeling Christmas-y / Thanksgiving-y lately also?
Really enjoyed your experiences with the Universal Law! 😀
“I could write for days about this all but I want to keep it as short, easy, and accessible as possible.”–I hope you do more on it! I hope you talk about this in videos and recordings too!
So happy you enjoyed it! Thanks!! xox
Thank you Natasha I was approaching it all the wrong way. I will now endeavor to make changes and I do believe the universe will unfold it’s plans accordingly
thank you for taking the time to share your wisdom.
I’m so happy that this helped. I too was approaching this the wrong way for many years!
Thank YOU, Michele, for your love, connection, and support! xox
I can relate to the comment of Yuval: How do you do this? When I try to imagine security and a healthy relationship coming to me in the future, my thoughts automatically jump to my ex and I see his face. I am doing so much better now than a year ago but I still do focus sometimes on thoughts of injustice (how he has a great life with a new girlfriend after very toxic behaviour towards me). Do I have to accept that negative thoughts about my ex and my pain are spoiling my attempt for positive thoughts until those positive thoughts gradually take over?
Hi Inga!
I will definitely write more about this soon 🙂 I have too much to say to type it all out. The thoughts of injustice are normal.
Thank you for taking the time to reach out and thank you for being a part of this tribe. xo
Thank you for this post. It makes a lot more sense than all the confusing definitions that I have seen over the years. I think it is a matter of changing my attitude and remaining open even though I’m fearful. I am someone who is a little bit blocked. I do realize that if I stay that way nothing will change and I’m not getting any younger. ?. It is not easy but not many of the good things in life come easy. Thank you for your wisdom as always.
Love you and all you share to helps us become better and stronger for ourselves.
????
I love and appreciate you so much, my dear sister and friend. I’m so glad that the post helped simplify LOA! xo
Natasha. Thank for this article as it seem too much coincidence have happened to me in passing years and especially last week with my mother. Last week my 90 years old mother blacked out and swiped by rail. (Thank god rail was put on 3 months ago!) not for rail worst would happened. Fast forward. Some serious health ailments and realize that she may not be around long. With pandemic. No visitor allowed in ER til she was transferred to room. I was able to visit and sit beside her. I felt calm. It’s like something tell me. Everything be ok. But not for long. I don’t know if that’s universe conveying? “All be ok but not for long”. Time will tell. For now she’s at another facility which no visitor allowed as long she’s in there. Depending the outcome? 1-4 weeks. Been tough week on my family. Anyway. This article obviously clear why friendship before relationship. No string attach method. Go the flow. All of above I’m working on what I have learned to try to accept what is going to happen aftermath. Yes we feel very powerless with pandemic guidelines and piss us off. Thank for this article. I’ll have to re-read over. John.
John, we are all praying for your Mother and family. You are not alone, my dear friend.
I’m so happy that this post helped. I wish I was there to help you and your family. You are not alone. My Mom sends her love.
Love you Natasha xx
Skevoulla! I missed you!
Love you more, soul sister 🙂 xox
This brought me in tears, the moment I start imagining a feeling of security, being loved and respected, and loving and respecting those around me, I cannot stop my tears.
Thank you Natasha, thank you for putting your love and energy here. You are providing hope for many, and guess what? I received your love and your best will just by reading this, instant injection/absorption.
– Tianbao
Tianbao,
Now, *I am* in tears! – tears of so much joy, gratitude, and love for you. Thank YOU for taking the time to share, for being a part of this tribe, and for being YOU.
All my love to you. xox
I finished all your break up articles so now i went to the self development part and I thought it cant get better but this article just amazed me . Thank you so much for guiding me and always being there for me through your amazing work,.I start each day with an article from you ,it became my bible. Thank you
Lots of love xx
My Dear Sister,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love, miss, and appreciate you deeply. xx
Wow so powerful. I love this. I feel improved. God bless you Tasha?
I am so happy that it helped! Thank you, Mzrich – for your love and support and for being a part of this tribe.
Thank you for being YOU. I hope that this finds you and your loved ones healthy and safe.
While I agree with the spirit of what you say in almost every single way, there are two things that left a bad taste in my mouth.
The first is the scientific way in which this is wrapped. Energy, vibrations…. All that stuff.. There’s absolutely no supporting evidence of this (and if there is, it would be nice to include a link to it).
What’s more, the entire philosophy (which again, I totally agree with) can be explained by statistics, biology, genetics and culture. Positive thinking works because when you project yourself in a positive fashion, it makes YOU more open to change and opportunities. Your brain is not busy with the bad stuff which leaves more cognitive capacity for allowing good things that happen along the way to be noticed and taken advantage of. Further, as humans, we evolved (for many reasons) to be tribal in nature. That in turn means we (and our animal ancestors) are highly proficient in having people around us and we have to “get along”. This builds a lot of unconscious understanding of social interactions. One of these is that, generally speaking, people are way more attracted to happy/open/charismatic people than they are to sad/closed/boring people. Positive thinking and from that becoming a more open person, simply makes you more accessible to more people, thus increasing the statisitical chance of positive interactions of all types.
The second part is this sentence:
I’ve learned that this law, no matter how many times I’ve told myself it doesn’t work, is fail-proof. If you’re observant enough, you’ll recognize that just like the Law of Gravity, it always works.
Gravity is fail proof. It will always work and attact no matter what. Even with Gravity, which we know how to model pretty well, add too many parameters to the equation and it becomes hard (impossible?) to predict how it will work (see the “three body problem” relating to gravity for more info.)
Now, take humans, culture, genetics… And try to model something that’s fail proof with that. You can’t. There are infinitely more parameters here than in a three body or even a 10 body gravity model. You can’t really predict anything.
There are so many situations that will overpower positive thinking and will not allow you to reap the benefits of it. From untreated depression, through abusive relationships and up to just bad luck.
Positive will make most people’s life much better. But it’s not a recepie for anything other than increasing the existing statistical chance for being happier and living a fuller life than if you didn’t do it. That’s all it does.
And that’s A LOT.
Hi Shahar!
There are many links to quantum mechanics and the slit experiment, that you can look up. I respect your views, and I can see you’re quite committed to them.
If you have the time to do a deeper dive into quantum physics, you can absolutely find the correlations, and open your mind and heart to a much bigger reality. It’s not just about “thinking” a thought, but the thoughts have feelings attached to them. Those feelings release a flood of associated scientifically verified and well-known reactions and chemical sparks. Those sparks, those “vibrations” or waveforms, have a reach that is far beyond our minds and bodies.
There’s a beautiful book by Lynne McTaggart called “The Field” which answers the science. In addition, if you are interested, Tom Shadyac made a fantastic documentary called “I am” which really showed the “interconnectedness” of all. From religion (Buddha and Jesus both similarly said “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he), to science (what we observe, we create), these all point to the Universal Truth of the Law of Attraction.
I wish I had the time to go back and forth, but I do not and this is not the place to do so. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts.
I live to give everything that I wish I would have had. This blog is my heart and soul.
Thanks for taking the time to read and take care.
it’s all about the vibes you put out into the world! Love the article! Thanks for sharing!
Agreed!! Thank you, Sean! Glad that the post was helpful!