I’ve gotten so many requests to write about the Law of Attraction. And even though it’s probably not the first thing that comes to mind when you think of self-help or relationship and breakup advice, I decided to write about it.

Why?

• It directly relates to the one thing I have dedicated my life to helping others achieve: a solid relationship with themselves, first and foremost.
• I wanted to share what I’ve personally learned (which debunks a lot of the confusing/conflicting information that’s out there) and simplify this concept that, unbeknownst to me, I was doing wrong for many years.
• This has worked for me, plain and simple. And when things work, I like to share them. Of course, this is just my OPINION. I am not a professional of any kind. I have a college degree but when it comes to everything that I write and speak about, my education is experiential, not scholastic.

I am *not in any way* trying to say that my interpretation of this law is the “end all be all.” There are many other resources out there that I am sure, explain this concept much better than I ever could. This is how I understand it and what has worked for me personally.

What is the Law of Attraction?

According to Wikipedia, the Law of Attraction “is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.” Basically, whatever you stay focused on is what you will attract; “like attracts like.”

The vibration of your beliefs and your most dominant/habitual thoughts (whether they be conscious or subconscious) will attract circumstances, situations, events, relationships, and people into your life that correspond with the (positive or negative) vibration of those thoughts and beliefs.

Your relationships, your health, your wealth, and every facet of your life is influenced by this universal law.

Sadly, the Law of Attraction got popularized to the point of it not only being an avenue to sell snake oil, but it got very contradictory and convoluted in the process of becoming so mainstream.

Many people thought that all they had to do was just *think* about what they wanted and, “SHAZAM!” they’d attract it.

This couldn’t be further from reality and what the Law of Attraction is truly about. It’s also, unfair (and potentially dangerous) to those who are terminally ill (or have a family member who is ill), are in financial trouble, etc. and have a false expectation that this law will “take care of everything.” It won’t.

No matter how much I think about my Mom being cancer-free, those thoughts will not cure her cancer. But there is a power of attraction which I have personally experienced (even related to my Mother’s health) and I have definitely manifested emotional freedom and a life that I never thought was in the cards for me.

I’ve learned that this law, no matter how many times I’ve told myself it doesn’t work, is fail-proof. If you’re observant enough, you’ll recognize that just like the Law of Gravity, it always works.

The Law of Attraction explained

How to use the Law of Attraction: first, identify your vibrational frequencies.

I believe that we create our own reality. This is a very empowering belief but for years, this belief drained me of my power. I was trying to control my reality without first acknowledging my vibration and then, adjusting where I needed to.

Stay with me here…

Everything is pure energy (your thoughts, yourself, other people, external circumstances – good and bad). That energy is vibrating at different frequencies. And since like attracts like, vibrations of similar frequencies attract each other like magnets.

You may want someone or something more than you’ve ever wanted anything. You may even be the most deserving person to get whatever it is you specifically want. But you only attract what you are in vibrational harmony with.

Your vibrational frequency is based solely on your habitual thoughts and belief system. This means that if you have a positive attitude, you will attract positive experiences, circumstances, situations, events, people, and relationships. If you have a negative attitude, you will attract experiences, events, situations, people, and relationships into your life that you would identify at best as an “energy drain;” at worst as unhealthy and toxic.

You have the ability to consciously create your reality. This is done by adjusting your vibrational frequency and thus, directly influencing what you attract.

I could write for days about this all but I want to keep it as short, easy, and accessible as possible.

Here are the steps I took to create my own reality:

• Change your frequency by ditching the victim mentality and finger-pointing. The Law of Attraction is not about being a victim. It’s not about blaming anything or anyone (including yourself) for what you are going through in the present moment. This will only attract more experiences, situations, and relationships that fill your self-limiting, self-fulfilling prophecy. The Law of Attraction is about taking full ownership of your current circumstances to the point of empowerment. It’s about realizing that everything you are feeling and experiencing right now is a direct result of two things: 1) Decisions you’ve chosen to make 2) Your tolerations (what you’ve chosen to tolerate in life). When you start to take responsibility for the results in your life by acknowledging the attraction power of your thoughts, you will never again finger-point for something that you are the maker of – the quality of your dominant thoughts. The universe will reward this level of accountability, responsibility, and awareness in spades. Very few people can operate on this level.
• Do not approach this with an IOU. The universe is neutral. It does not owe you anything and you don’t owe it anything. You can either meet it halfway by taking responsibility for your thoughts or, you can choose to spit in its face and declare war. The choice is always yours.
• You don’t need to learn. You don’t need to “learn” the Law of Attraction. It’s already working for you whether you accept it and are aware of it or not. For years, I got caught up in trying to “understand” this law, which is totally unnecessary. What you need to understand is that in order to attract the relationships, circumstances, situations, events, and experiences that you want, you have to accept reality. The reality is, your external world will always be a direct reflection of your internal world. It is the quality of your internal vibration that attracts the quality you externally desire.
• In order to attract what you want, you have to believe that you are WORTHY of it. 
• There is no “activation” of this law. It is activated and working at all times – no matter what you do or do not do. In order to attract what I wanted in life, I had to be extremely aware of the vibrational frequency and the quality/nature of my thoughts. After that, I observed how my actions carried out my thoughts. And then, the hardest part… I had to put my trust in the universe. I had to trust this law. This can be scary but what do you have to lose? I know the other shoe has always dropped whenever you’ve banked on happiness but you have to accept that you don’t have all the answers. You will never be perfect and you really don’t know what’s best for you. Which leads me to…
• You will never get your desired result by being specific. Let’s say you wanted a black Bentley. Do not start thinking, “black Bentley, black Bentley, black Bentley!” If you do, you’ll probably see more black Bentleys on the street but you won’t attract one into your garage. NEVER, EVER assume that you are smarter than the universe. By being that specific with make, model, color, and even wanting a car, you are translating to the universe that you know what’s best for you; that you know what you need more than the universe ever could. You will then, attract more feelings and experiences affirming that you don’t know what’s truly best for you. Surrender and put your trust in the universe here. Instead of thinking “black Bentley,” think of how having that Bentley will make you feel. Focus on a feeling and let that vibration emanate. The universe may have something much better in store for you than a black Bentley. But you’ll never know until you surrender to a higher power and trust that the universe knows what’s best for you. I always focus on a feeling of security. I don’t think of all the little things I want that would supposedly “make me feel secure.” I think about how secure I want to feel – with my looks, as a woman, as a daughter, a friend, a Godmother, etc. I want to feel secure in my business, my health, my wealth, and the health of my loved ones. I focus on a feeling of security. I don’t focus on specific things, hoping they plop into my lap. I believe this is why, after many painful breakups, no amout of obsessing and thinking about my exes ever “brought them back.” I just kept attracting more experiences that affirmed how I felt: insecure and alone. Recognizing my value, building a life of my own, and surrendering to what was (which made me feel empowered and secure) always had them circling back around. But what if you can’t activate a feeling of security?….
• Start small. In order to adjust your vibration and attract the life and relationships you want, you need to believe that what you want is actually possible. The feeling that you want to feel *cannot* give you anxiety. If it does, you will just end up attracting more relationships, situations, and experiences that elicit stress. I may not feel secure, but I can close my eyes and imagine feeling secure with a deep sense of certainty. For example, it may not be Christmas Eve today but I can imagine seeing a tree with presents under it in a few months because I know it’s coming. I can imagine my birthday coming because I know it will. You have to imagine the feeling you want to feel with a sense of certainty – no matter what happens, you know it’s coming – just like Christmas (if not, substitute whatever you celebrate) or your birthday. Get excited that it is coming, no matter what, because it is. Visualize how secure you will feel, and watch what happens in your life.

The law of attraction is nothing more than making the decision to optimize your mental health and being aware that your actions correspond with your level of psychological fitness. It’s also about surrendering and trusting that you are not alone in this world.

The universe always has your back. It’s now time to meet it halfway.

Written by: Natasha Adamo